No more weeping ...

"What would comfort me is...

2011-03-24T22:43:00.000-07:00

if you thought of your own death and thought more about life and not leave it too late, but to investigate what is the truth." Is something I've always wanted to tell my non-believing friends. They hear of my Dad having stage 2 Rectum Cancer and say "I don't really know how to comfort you" and I'm thankful they said that which then I can ask them to reflect upon their own lives and such a great opportunity!

But really, the comfort it brings when my non-believing friends find out for themselves, investigate what is the truth about life on earth, and tell me what they have concluded. A comfort that at least they aren't just taking things for what it is, cruising through life and get a rude shock on their death bed....or never questioning, to just live in accumulation of things and not consider the salvation of their souls which could also save their loved ones around them. Instead of brushing it aside and say all the positive things to me while ignoring and hoping without any real certain hope that things will get better for me. And when it does not, what do they do? They get stuck and don't really know what to do. Worse case is that they just hope death will come sooner as a form of relief...nooooo....not when there's a real and living hope, and eternal life being offered!

May my non-believing friends want to find out if Jesus is for real, a fake or a lunatic. If he is for real, to heed what he says, because he is coming back again to set all things right in this messed up world of ours and to bring us back to God! That's a real living hope because Jesus is alive, he conquered death to give us eternal life...O, how my soul is comforted by our great God who created us whether or not you believe!

One thing I want in this life

2010-10-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

is for my Dad to be saved by Jesus (at this moment in time). Jesus, who ascended into heaven and descended from heaven, the only one whom my Dad needs to listen to about heaven, the only one my Dad needs to believe in, the only one who can reconcile my Dad to God whom he ignores and push away or pretend He's not there.

Oh! What I would give to see my Dad believing in Jesus before he dies.

Heart is in pain. Heart grieves. It's too painful.

It's so urgent!

Not sure how to face the day, if there will be a day and I'm hoping there won't be, but yet seeing my Dad's stubbornness, I might have to face the day where my Dad passes away without believing in Jesus. It's too painful. Really too painful. Can there not be any pain?

I can't change hearts. Can only trust in God who changes hearts. With man, saving ourselves is impossible, but with God, being saved by him is not impossible. It is possible with God who sent Jesus to die for our sins and reconcile us back to himself. It's never to perish, but to have eternal life. Never to die, never to cry, never to be in pain, never, never...

I love my Dad. God knows I love my Dad. God loves my Dad. God is really really patient with my Dad. I love my Dad. I don't want my Dad to just perish. To just think, once he dies, he'll just be ashes. I want my Dad to live. I want my Dad to have eternal life, a reconciled relationship with God (his Creator) through Jesus Christ.

John 3:9-15
⁹Nicodemus said to him, "How can these things be?" ¹⁰Jesus answered him, "Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? ¹¹Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. ¹²If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? ¹³ No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. ¹⁴And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, ¹⁵that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.

New heart & new spirit

2010-10-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

is what God says in Ezekiel 36:25-27.

Thank you Jesus for cleansing me
giving me a new heart
and putting a new spirit within me
Thank you for removing the heart of stone from my flesh
and giving me a heart of flesh
Thank you for putting your Spirit within me
causing me to walk in your statutes
and be careful to obey your rules

You are my God! You took the initiative, you know I can't ever do it by myself, my self-reliance is completely useless, I'm totally wretched. Thank you.

Gong Gong

2010-09-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

I miss! Going to the history museum, somehow brought back memories of Gong Gong. I wish he was still around. I miss him! He was a firm, no nonsense, loving Gong Gong to me. He would spend the time sitting in the kitchen with a basin of cooked "lala" (clams) and one by one open it while all the grandkids queued up to have their chance to eat it, and this is after we have given proof that we have cleaned up our dinner plate and put it in the kitchen sink. When it rained, he would open the front door and look up into the sky and I would follow him and he'll say "ho lai low" (rain is coming) and I'll follow him saying it with my semi-english accented teochew. I miss my Gong Gong. At my age now, he would have brought insights and wisdom which I would savour and ponder.

Interesting how weekly family prayer all started, my Gong Gong went down on his knees and depended on God to provide his needs when he had only a few cents in his pocket, depending on God to be able to feed a family of 9 children. Things got rough during Japanese occupation of Singapore and he went down on his knees and even when Singapore got affluent, prayer meetings were still conducted weekly. How amazing! Praying for everyone in the family made us concern for each other and dependent on God, but there was the other side of it becoming too much of a habit and some may not understand it totally.

Hilda

2010-08-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

my classmate passed away in her sleep due to epilepsy in Mar 2010. I still can't believe it. I still want to confirm by emailing her or going to see where her urn is placed. We exchanged FB messages and I was SO happy to have found her, but I didn't act fast enough to meet with her. Prayed for her hubby and 2 kids. It must be so difficult for them.

Me September 25, 2009 at 8:35am

are you really hilda from Class of Arts 2?

HH October 5, 2009 at 8:58pm

Yes lah. how can I contact you leh? Looks like its been a long and long time already.
hehehe

Me October 6, 2009 at 8:14am

ah! finally the REAL hilda! there's a little girl who has same name as you and she started accepting all the MG girls' friends request until she asked me something about being her friend and I'd realised that she's not the hilda i know! haha
how have you been? ya, its been a long long time!

H October 11, 2009 at 10:18pm

Ya, You saw my photos . They are my little kids. Hope you will recognise finally. Maybe you can contact me at xxxxx@singnet.com.sg. thanks

"Why oh why Lord?" I ask. And yet again, go back to his word...

Open discussions

2010-08-21T19:13:00.001-07:00

about Christianity, not feeling like I'm in a forced situation, being able to just come and investigate and ask my questions about Christianity and left to myself to think about it. Not having the feeling that I must convert and not being asked at every meeting on whether I believe and making sure I do believe. Just hanging out, figuring it out. It's lacking somehow, as some non-Christian friends of mine feel. There seems to be a forced feeling. Is it the result of how outreach is done by mega churches? Is that really true? Or is it all down to the person and combination of persons itself? Can't it be like some financial seminars or makeup sessions where you just come to check out what it's about and then decide if you subscribe to it and if it's really true, then go off to find out more after the seminar/session?

Why is it that in western countries, people can come and investigate Christianity without any feelings of obligation or mystic where once you step into church, you're doomed to being christian ?(and there's no such thing btw) Why does that only exist in asian countries? Why can't asians just come and investigate and check out what Christianity is about and have a grasp of why Christians believe what they believe? There isn't anything magical in stepping into church or going to a home for bible study. Maybe person feels like they know it all already? But how can anyone know everything completely? How to be objective and not have bias-ness? Or maybe that's not possible?

Maybe for socials, it's less threatening? But, it's the same, right? Only difference is that in a social, you're concentrating on 1 activity.

Why so much resistance? When asians say they wish for open discussions about religion/beliefs, but don't want to investigate or are resistant to open discussions, what does that mean? Why is there somehow more openness in western countries compared to asian countries? Are asian countries more dogmatic in nature, as seen in some governments and especially family structures? I wonder.

Funny how people think people convert people. That's not possible, since a person is not able to change hearts of people. Even if one says loving people will change hearts, but how long can that last? Ultimately, it's God's work in changing hearts and opening minds, not ours since we're only creatures. Such a relief it's not our provocative since we have such messed up lives.

Reunion

2010-07-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

20 years later...amazing! 7 tables, 70 girls in total, some married, some singles, some with kids, some divorced, some remarried, some caring for aged parents, etc. All same age, and so much has happened in our lives since leaving school, but strangely, being together, brought me back to school days where all of us were the same, just a teenager and enjoying our school days. How interesting that after chatting with some, I remember what they were like in school days and seeing them now, though some have changed visually, they are still them! Told V that she's really V. hehe! I think their look and me remembering what they were like in school days, didn't seem to click until I had a longer chat with them.

All the usual questions came up, but the one I had different responses was "What are you doing now?". My diff responses were "I'm standing here talking to you?", "Do you mean work-wise or family-wise?". At one point, wanted to ask "Do you still believe in God? Do you know Jesus? Or are you adverse Christianity?"since you were in a mission school where every Monday was chapel and listening to message by the chaplain.

Just struck me that as a teenager, our personalities really stay with us until adulthood. The different routes, choices we make, ends up with us being the way we are and how we look at things. Pray that my dear school friends who aren't believers yet, will come to know Jesus and believe in him, just cos at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow in heaven, on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Phil 2: 5-11). Pray that those who are believers, will keep walking his ways, waiting and looking forward to Jesus' return!

My dear single friends,

2010-07-20T00:46:00.000-07:00

we need relationships yar. Please don't exist by yourself, although you might have gotten used to it and working at relationships (whether family or friendships) requires effort and a vulnerability, but for those who believe in Jesus, our security is in what he has done for us and for God sending Jesus to bring us back in relationship to himself, no longer enemies with him, no longer just plain ignoring him or pretending he's not there.

We were made for relationships and with the greatest relationship with God being reconciled, all other relationships will then draw strength and lots of wisdom and crying to our Lord and checking of ourselves, watching our lives and our doctrine, confessing and repenting, and starting again ya.

Relationships will sharpen you as we encourage and admonish each other, building each other up in godliness, challenging each other in the way we live our lives in view of our gospel priorities and to become more like Jesus and all together, waiting and looking forward to Jesus' return where all will recognise and bow their knee to him.

To my married friends who have included me in your family life just by letting me veg at your place, including me in your family meals, asking me to help you with babysitting or run errands or just hang out, really appreciate it. Showed me how marrieds & singles would be in God's family. Sharing your married/parenthood struggles with me and I sharing my singlehood/caring for aging parents struggles with you, and us praying for each other, is really precious and treasured!! Thanking the Lord for you all =)

my mum

2010-07-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

has expressed that she wants me to spend more time on my painting/art and music, rather than learning to cook dishes. Maybe she has a secret wish I'll be an artist or musician, but being typical asian parent, she wanted me to be an accountant or some other kind of professional when I was growing up. And because she has always cooked for the family, she doesn't want me to cook, even though she has taught me how to cook so that when she's not at home, I can do it myself. My mum's funny! You have to laugh because if I had pursued art and music, and not earning enough to even pay my bills, she might not have encouraged it.

Sometimes I do tell her that isn't it far better to know that her children are saved by the Lord rather than what profession they're in or what education they pursue or whether they're getting themselves married? She say yes, but really it isn't her total heart's desire. Anyway, all will be revealed when Jesus returns.

AMD & MTERA

2010-07-14T00:02:00.000-07:00

is similar to the generic term of a Living Will, and in Australia according to my sister, there's also a different terminology. Hence, here I go finding out what the Singapore law states which is similar to it. Basically if I'm brain dead or terminally ill or in coma, I don't want to be resuscitated by artificial means just because medical bills are very high nowadays and it'll be a burden on my parents and sister.

Advance Medical Directive (AMD) by Ministry of Health (MOH) - have submitted it, so no resuscitation, just naturally die off. Although if I'm left to myself and I have cough/phlegm, urine infection, the doctors will treat me. My handsome neighbourhood doctor, Dr Eugene Lim, has gone through it in detail, as in the circumstances I'll be in and what doctors will do, and he will sign it with a second witness (possibly his nurse), and off it goes to be registered. It will only take effect when it has been registered, so have to wait for a month later, then will receive acknowledgement of receipt from AMD people. Dr Lim said sometimes it's a grey area for doctors on what to treat sometimes. But hey, it's alright, all under God's hands, as we pray for wisdom for the doctors, whoever we may be under. And though we may have these plans, God's plans will be first & foremost, and it's wonderful to be under such a great God who initiated a relationship with us, his creation.

Human Organ Transplant Act (HOTA) - 4 organs are donated upon death, all Singaporeans are included and hence I'm happy to be auto-included. So, no action needed from me.

If all organs to be donated, then check out The Medical (Therapy, Education and Research) Act (MTERA). Need 2 witnesses, can be family or friends. Will be asking 2 church friends to help be my witnesses and so at least 2 persons in church family are aware of what I've signed up for.

So, dear relatives and friends, just for you to know, although my family should know what to do.

Me who is of sound mind =)

Basically, after death, I'll be back to my eternal home with Jesus, and waiting for the rest of you who also believe in Jesus and hoping/praying that the Lord has mercy on the rest of you who don't believe in Jesus. (John 3:36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him)

It's a wish of mine that a bible is given together with my organs to the person receiving my organs and to the lab scientists/researches doing their stuff on my organs, no need to write any name or whom the bible is from, but I think cannot. So my brothers & sisters-in-Christ, you just give away bibles to those who come to my funeral and who don't believe in Jesus, ok? Just cos God's word is eternal and will last more than my words which fail. (1 Peter 1:24-25 ..."All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever." ...)

I don't really want any of my family and friends to talk about me during my funeral, since they won't even be able to say all the bad stuff about me and will only say the good stuff which isn't a true picture of me, a forgiven sinner. =) But the gospel/good news be preached by my pastor friend, for the sake of those who are living in this fallen world and Jesus be proclaimed to all my friends & family. Closure amongst my family and friends can be done in small groups lah, as they pray for their own family and friends who haven't yet believe in Jesus, as we look to Jesus' sure return! (1 Peter 3:18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, ...)

Stars and suicide

2010-07-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

still come as a shock, especially those like Park Yong Ha who you think is able to take on good projects and is a versatile actor. Yet, trying to cope with family matters and career matters took a toll plus accumulation of debts and having insomnia. I still remember the day I woke up on 30th June at 5.30am and could not sleep. And at that point, someone in another country commits suicide.

Oh, how urgent it is to tell people about Jesus and for them to come into relationship with him who saves and gives us a certain/definite hope amidst all that we have to handle in our fallen world. His words do give life, why don't we listen? Why don't we ponder about what Jesus has said? Why don't we investigate and get to know Jesus better but would rather rely on ourselves who are so frail and limited and have no control over anything? Having such a relationship with our Creator God, what more do people want? A future to look forward to, a present faithful relationship to rely on while we wait for Jesus' return, amidst God's patience with a people who rebel, ignore and pretend he doesn't exist.

Lives are precious and God who breathed his breath in us knows that, why else would he send Jesus to save us from our eternal death, eternal separation from him?

5-minute chocolate mug cake

2010-06-23T05:14:00.000-07:00

is SO easy! Love it that it's all miniaturized =) Recipe can be found here.

Context is AGAIN powerful

2010-06-21T06:18:00.000-07:00

and Yes! yet AGAIN context is powerful. The depth of reading God's word in context makes understanding all the more fuller.

Learnt the following key words which is used to remember the book of Exodus, very helpful. Kudos to Andrew Sach for teaching it to God's people!

Beatings, Bush
Plagues, Passover
Water, Whingeing
Father-in-law, Fear
Case-law, Covenant
Taber-
Calf, Cleft
-nacle

Just think, you read about the 10 commandments and know that it was given after the Lord rescued the Israelites from Egypt since Exodus 20:2 says "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery". So, it wasn't because they were given the 10 commandments in order to be saved, but it all started after the Lord rescued/saved them from slavery, then the Lord gave the 10 commandments.

But, what happened before the 10 commandments? All THESE....
Beatings, Bush,
Plagues, Passover,
Water, Whingeing,
Father-in-law, Fear
That's a huge lot of what had happened before the 10 commandments were given. All that happened in the Lord's relationship with his people. Puts everything in perspective when reading the 10 commandments.

It's amazing the Lord's relationship with his people. If only people would want to know the Lord, if only people didn't assume they know the Lord...

Exodus 34:6-7
"The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and fourth generation"

"We're all totally powerless"

2010-04-30T01:54:00.000-07:00

says Anthony Hopkins, age 72, where he was guest on the show "Inside the Actor's Studio". He must have learnt something through his many years of acting to come to that conclusion. Why is it that in his acting profession, there is power or one would think one is powerful or people think one is powerful? In any profession, it certainly gives you that blurred reality.

What Anthony Hopkins (age 72) said during his second visit on "Inside the Actor's Studio" where his audience were budding actors:
enjoy the (acting) profession as it enfolds for you
think the best
enfold, let go, surrender, if you want it, it will happen
just surrender and let go of it
it has nothing to do with you
none of us have any power
we're all totally powerless
that's the great comfort

It's interesting how he kept repeating "we're totally powerless" during the interview and made a last point about it as the show ended.

I wonder if after he had worked for so long, he knew there was a perception of power which people think they have. In other professions, there is too. It could be more pronounced for those in professions where the product is $.

We're all totally powerless. Only God is powerful! He resurrected Jesus from the dead! Wow!

Scallop and Corn Chowder

2010-04-26T04:45:00.000-07:00

is what you do when your mum gives you excess frozen scallops from CNY (chinese new year). Took recipe from Real Simple. Had all the ingredients except the cream which was first time buying. Feels like this is unhealthy, but hey, worth giving it a try, since I've never made chowder and thought all chowders are the same anyway. haha!

A pic of the final product. Taste-wise is ok, although my taste buds aren't really the chef type, so I'll need to do this again for someone who will be my guinea pig =P then I'll know if I can offer it to others to eat.

"I'm nearly home"

2010-04-25T07:38:00.000-07:00

was Mark Ashton's last words. It shocked me to learn of his passing on 3 Apr 2010 at the end of an article he wrote. Read the article with lots of "Amen brother!" and to be hit with news of his passing at the end made my Amens stop and a sadness sinking in, yet a smile to the Lord for taking Mark home. Made me also want to be home too, as I think of a friend E who passed away in 2001, at the age of 33 years old. I saw her on Saturday night as we read the bible together, and she passed away the next day, Sunday. A common friend M said E must be having a good time now being with our Lord Jesus. I miss E! She challenged me, she annoyed me, she was scary sometimes, she had a humour only some could take, I miss E! Christians are all on their way home, I want to be home, and see E and Mark again, so it would be "see you", rather than "bye", only because Jesus will gather all of us together.

Hopes everyone will read Mark's article, it truly reminds of what reality is. And for those who aren't believers, to consider the hope which Jesus brings, Jesus who has resurrected and is alive and will return to set all things right here on earth!

Newspaper article here on Mark.

Punishing kids

2010-04-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

the Asian way still needs to be thought through...some examples:

Parent: If you don't eat your vegetables, I'll call the police
Parent: If you don't take your medicine, I'll call the doctor/nurse to punish you
Parent: If you insist on your way, I'll leave you here and go back on my own

Somehow, police/doctor/nurses all become really scary to small kids.

What is the main aim of punishment? To correct the kids, enforce discipline, train them in God's ways, isn't it?

Why is it that only Asians call on another authoritarian profession to help them in times of need? When they can't cope with the kid's behaviour? Taking medicine to make one better and the kid not liking the taste of the medicine seems to not be mentioned. And linking doctors/nurses as horrible people who make you take the horrible medicine is quite a put off.

Do Westerners do that too? I wonder.

And why is it all threats? Wouldn't that create insecurity in a child? I wonder.

Why not deprive a child of his/her favourite thing, and only when they behave, do we then reward them? And lavish all praise and hugs when they do behave and especially if they behave without being asked to, wouldn't that be a better enforcement? Alot to observe in a child.

Conclusion: Alot of trial and error bringing up kids, as we struggle with our own sin. Seeing also in ourselves what we pick up from our own parents or others around us, and seeing the struggles within ourselves as we try to nurture a small life amidst the chaos.

Skilled workmen

2010-03-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

are such a help!

Contractors who do small repair jobs.
Rubbish bin cleaners who clear 100 families (1 flat) worth of rubbish have such strong muscles, helping to carry down my rusted bed frame and folding it into pieces in order to fit into a small HDB lift.
Installation/Assembly/Delivery men who are so careful when delivering stuff into house and assembling it when they are so tired out and sweating from transporting it up to flat. They are truly efficient and really appreciate those who clean up after they finish their work.

Appreciate! Appreciate! It's a big matter to one who has an injured neck/back. The amount of energy and muscle power. Pray for them that their health will keep up with the kind of work they do in order to feed their families. May they stay away from vices and come to know our Creator God who made them and sustains them daily. Maybe I should have given them a gospel track? Hmm...missed opportunity...

Funeral of parents

2010-03-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

is the next stage of life which my generation is at, after having almost exhausted the weddings and new births period. 2 friends/acquaintances had their dads' passing away during these two weeks.

E's dad - 63 years old
R's dad - 73 years old

Thought of my Dad (78) & Mum (71)...hopes someone will read bible with them...it's a niche ministry!!

Kids' pneumonia

2010-03-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

is so scary. 2 friends had their boys being hospitalised just last week. Both had similar progression. Pneumonia - bacteria in blood - wheezing - cough - liquid in lungs - pus in lungs. 1 was more severe than the other because 1 was generally weak in nature since a baby. So, the weaker one had 2 surgeries (really don't like surgeries due to the complications it involves). These kids are only 3 years and 5 years old.

So burdened and worried for my friends and the pain of seeing tubes in a child so small. Everything the doctors and nurses had to deal with was shrunked and tiny.

Had nightmare one night of me trying to unclog my kitchen pipes with a strong cleaner. THEN as I poured the cleaner the kitchen sink started disappearing and I screamed! Not knowing how to stop it from disappearing. At that moment, my friend's kid was with me and he played with the cleaner and poured it onto his hands and he screamed and was crying and I quickly grabbed him to rinse it away at the disappearing sink. I was crying and panicking and saying 'silly boy' to him. Then I woke up. The feelings were horrible! If being Aunty is already filled with such emotions/feelings, what more a parent seeing their child in hospital and the kid being miserable with tubes stuck to his body and feeling all sick.

Went to see kid M and tried to cheer him up with a dancing robot. Just thought a dancing robot was a funny creation and he could sing a song as it danced. My heart dropped when I saw him, he lost weight due to funny medicine taste remaining in his mouth. Thankfully he ate abit more of his dinner than usual. Prayed for him that he will learn to trust God, our Creator, and not in himself.

Thankfully both kids are on their way to recovery. Keep parents' health and their siblings' health in prayer during this time. So much to rely on our Lord who is ever so faithful to us =)

Christian parenting priorities

2010-03-21T18:21:00.001-07:00

is it to raise your kids to be moral and hence not be a menace to society, or to know the Lord Jesus, be saved and hence not be a menace to society? Often find even in my relationships with friend's kids I tend to do the osmosis of morals. Still learning how to help them get to know my Lord Jesus.

Lobang for my M'sian friends...

2010-03-17T06:55:00.001-07:00

Hear ye! Hear ye, my dear M'sian friends!

Found out from an angmoh trainer (base in M'sia) during my IT course that M'sian passport holders get some discounts from Singapore Visitors Centre. It will differ from month to month. Trainer said there was a time they gave out Robinsons voucher, and another time Jurong Bird Park entry which costs SG$18, M'sian passport holders could buy tickets for Ringgit$18. Cool hor! Quite innovative I must say. Bring your M'sian passports to Singapore Visitors Centre and see what you get yar! Abit like lucky draw. haha!

Quick! Come visit me =)

Context is powerful

2010-02-28T17:37:00.000-08:00

which may have been overlooked. Whether in conversation or reading a book, hearing it in context or reading in context, gives the understanding and pow! it hits you.

If you read infamous passage Matthew 28: 18-20
And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

When you read it, depending on your background, you probably think, if you heard of Jesus, you might say of course all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to him. He claimed to be God.

How many people remember conversations in context? It'll be horrible if a sentence of a conversation is taken out of context.

How about in meeting discussions? It's usually in context otherwise other team-mates will correct what it is said if taken out of context and usually, they'll check with one another what was documented as a one liner.

We have those skills yet when we read the bible, we don't apply that skill we so normally do in our daily lives. Why? God's bible is not a mystery and neither is it something only pastors or priests have access to since we all can easily read it daily and ask God for understanding of what he said. No need for isolation from the world in order to ponder and think about God's word.

If you read from beginning of Matthew 28, Matthew 28:18-20 is all said after he has resurrected from the dead!! That's HUGE! His resurrection and then saying "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me..." It's such a push factor in the believers who were grieving at first until they saw Jesus their Lord infront of their eyes, ALIVE! And such comfort to hear "...And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.". Do have a think about it and ponder Matthew 28 in its context. May you have a pow! moment as you read in context.

He has resurrected from the dead >> All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me >> I am with you always, to the end of the age

Walking in Singapore

2010-02-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

to explore the side streets, the shortcuts is what I love to do. Visited Changi Museum recently and chanced on a book "A Walking Tour: Singapore". Loved the maps and sketches of the prominent places in it, so bought it hoping to challenge myself to memorise it and try it out. Then discovered online that there was a book launch by the author, last year Dec in Netherlands!! Quite amazing really. I wonder if after the book launch, Netherlands people would buy it and prompt them to buy a ticket to fly here, instead of being attracted by the launch of IRs (integrated resorts) and Casinos? I wonder. Would history/culture be more attractive than the latest IN or new thing? Hmm...

Prayer for a sick friend

2010-01-30T08:04:00.000-08:00

is something I stumbled upon as I thought about a colleague who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and undergoing radiotherapy right now for the next 4 weeks.

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

(NIV)

“And their prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make them well. And anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.”
James 5:15-16 (NLT)

Dear Lord,
You know my friend/family member so much better than I do. You know his/her sickness and the burden he carries. You also know his heart. Lord, I ask you to be with my friend now, working in his life. Let your will be done in my friend's life. If there is a sin that needs to be confessed and forgiven, Lord, please help him to see his need and confess. Lord, I pray for my friend because your Word says I should pray for his healing. I believe you hear this earnest prayer from my heart and that it is powerful because of your promise. I have faith in you to heal my friend, but I also trust in the plan you have for his life. Lord, I don't always understand your ways, and why my friend has to suffer, but I trust you. I ask that you look with mercy and grace toward my friend. Nourish his spirit and soul in this time of suffering and comfort him with your presence. Let my friend know you are there with him through this difficulty. And may you be glorified in his life and also in mine.
Amen

(Ref: http://christianity.about.com/od/prayersforspecificneeds/a/sickfriendfamil.htm)

So much to think about when sickness happens to a friend/relative just beside you or on oneself. Much much to think.

Relationships at work

2010-01-26T18:42:00.001-08:00

should it be really separate from personal relationships? It's all about human relationships and how we relate with each other whether it be work or personal stuff, right?

If only people could give each other benefit of the doubt
If only people could just give a listening ear to the other person
If only people could gossip less and find out from the source and keep confidentiality
If only people didn't become mini-gods of their own lives
If only people didn't keep thinking about themselves and think everyone's out to harm them
If only people could turn and repent before God whom they have pushed away, ignored, pretend he isn't there

God our Creator will still be God the Creator of all, whether he's recognised or not! Amazing as that is, only one thing for us to do...pursue what is the truth about our world and conclude that only the Lord is the true and living God.

Angel Hair with Spicy Shrimp

2010-01-21T15:43:00.000-08:00

is what I decided to experiment just because I read from a blogger about Real Simple website. If a blogger parent (a male) with a young baby can whip up something quick and easy using Real Simple recipe, then it should be something to look into. =)

So, I got excited, spotting a recipe using Angel Hair pasta which I had some remnants and needed to finish. And looking at how easy the recipe was, I went ahead and bought the ingredients I didn't have. Changed recipe abit, as I didn't know some of the stuff it had. Have never really cooked a pasta dish which I was satisfied with, but I think this may be another full proof dish like my tiramisu! woo-hoo!

Only questions left in my mind were...
"are shrimps the same as prawns?"
"is red pepper the same as red capsicum?"
"why did adding butter make the restaurant pasta taste achievable?"
"should cooking white wine be totally void of alcohol? or should some alcohol remain?"
"will cooking on skillet and a pot achieve different result?"
"is kosher salt the same as just normal salt?"
Ok, need to google for answers.

Serves 4 Hands-On Time: 15m Total Time: 15m

Ingredients

3/4 pound angel hair pasta
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 packet frozen peeled prawn, thawed
3/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 teaspoon diced red pepper
salt
2 tablespoons butter

Directions

Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Drain the pasta and return it to the pot.
Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute (do not let it brown). Add the prawn, wine, red pepper, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Simmer until the prawns are opaque, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the butter until melted.
Toss the pasta with the prawn mixture.

Time to get friends over to try...

4 days with Sam

2010-01-20T23:22:00.000-08:00

was interesting. First-time dog sitting Samantha, a Jack Russell. Quite amazing that this dog knows how to pee in pee pad and not anywhere else, she's always wagging her tail being so excited, always hungry and gives me a puppy dog look if I ate anything or if I brought home groceries. haha! It's nice having a dog in the house.

I think I conclude, it's easier to babysit than dog-sit. haha! Just partly cos I'm not experienced in dog-sitting. So much to learn, how to discipline, how much strength to use to restrain the dog from doing silly things like just sitting on the road, how much play time to give, what if I miss 1 of the 2 daily walks will it have adverse effects on it, etc.

"Does God hate Haiti?"

2010-01-18T18:14:00.000-08:00

is an article written by Albert Mohler which is worth reading since questions like the following would be in people's minds...
"Did God make this happen?"
"Why is God so cruel?"
"Life is short, so let's just eat, drink and be merry, right?"

"The leader has the answers"

2010-01-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

is what I keep hearing and wonder is it because the person didn't take time to find the answer themselves or they think a human leader is infallible? I'll want to immediately ask the person why he/she thinks the leader has the answers and that they wouldn't be able to provide one if they searched for it themselves? And with the answer they found, they could then discuss with the leader at the same level and be sharpened as a result? At least you know the leader isn't leading you blindly or "smoking" you.

That is, if we take the basis that we're to discern what we're taught and not blindly follow, even if the leader is sincerely teaching for our own good.

If the basis is that the leader has the answers and the only one who has the answers, then it might all fall apart when the flaws of the leader's character is one day revealed. It would be really painful and disastrous for one.

Hope that all friends will consider for themselves how we sometimes place a human leader on a pedestal and we don't want to use our brains because it's the easy way out? I urge you all to know what you believe and hold on to, and to have healthy discussions where we listen to one another, and agree to disagree, whether on the same beliefs or different.

Reminds me of Jay Smith and how he has debates with his muslim friends in Hyde Park and after the debate, they will still be friends and have a drink together at nearby KFC. It's not for the sake of arguing over words, but a strong concern for each other and to ask the difficult questions which a friend you dearly love should consider, and leave it as it is. For us, christians, we'll keep our friends in prayer after that.

Fried olive rice

2010-01-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

I love and so quick and easy to put together. Got it from eatzybitzy, where recipes are easy.

See pic of my final product. Yums!

Mince meat, Garlic, Olive vegetables and maybe peanuts as garnish.

Babysitting for friends

2010-01-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

was triggered when a friend asked if I could help her with her kid in 2001. And she said she just needs someone in the house so when there's fire, just grab kid and run. She also said she'll write out instructions of what to do if kid cries or anything, which helped my logical mind to be able to cope with any situation thrown at me.

From then onwards, another friend could have heard from this friend and all of them/mums had a pool of resource/help when babysitting need arose.

That's how it all started.

It has been a most helpful learning and journeying with friends who became mums and struggling along each step and also sharing the moments of joy in their lives. Had they not included me in their lives and trusted the Lord with their kid's lives in the hands other than their own, things would have been different. I might not have known their struggles, they would be struggling quite abit by themselves, no dates with husbands, I wouldn't know I could calm a child who got injured by giving water to the child to manage the pain, etc.

Thank you Lord for friends who trust you, share their struggles of motherhood, and know that their children are in their temporal care for now but ultimately belong to you in the end.

Richard Baxter

2010-01-13T17:27:00.000-08:00

is an amazing man and the work the Lord had done in him - wow! Truly thank the Lord for what he's done in Richard's life such that today, I'm able to read his writing and be spurred on!

Anyone who's teaching the bible, especially pastoring, taking care of God's people should read what he wrote. Aiya! Think all God's people should have a read of his book actually cos gives lots to think about God's church and its leaders - now but not yet, saying no to ungodliness, etc.

Wow! There's even a free audio downloa d of his book!

I'm surprise after not reading for so long that old english written by Richard Baxter was drawing me to keep reading. Can't wait to finish it and re-read it again. Abit like chasing after those Korean/Jap/Taiwan dramas. Haha! But of cos Richard Baxter's book spurs one onto thinking things of heaven, longing for Christ's return.

Too much cornflakes

2010-01-13T17:16:00.001-08:00

and what do you do with it? You use the recipe on the cornflake box and use up 2 cups of cornflakes to make cookies =) I gave it a try but changed milk choc to 70% dark choc which I love. Not too bad, though it made me guilt-laden for eating each one, but happy at the taste as I consume it. haha!

Time to distribute it to friends to share the fat =)

Ingredients:
- 150g butter/margarine
- 1 cup castor sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
- 2 eggs
- 2 cups self raising flour
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate bits
- 1/2 cup sultanas
- 4 cups cornflakes

Method:
- Pre-heat oven to 180deg.
- Cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.
- Add vanilla essence then add eggs one at a time beating well.
- Fold in flour, choc bits, sultanas and 2 cups of cornflakes.
- Shape level tablespoons of mixture into balls. Roll balls in remaining cornflakes.
- Place onto lined tray and press down with a fork.
- Bake for 12-15mins or golden brown.
- Cool on racks and store in airtight container for up to 10days.

Root cause

2009-12-02T18:06:00.000-08:00

is something I need to find in my IT work. So the usual troubleshooting and eventual report will appear as such...

PROBLEM: xx system failed at 3 Dec 09 01:29hrs FT.
ROOT CAUSE: invalid characters.
SOLUTION: delete failed request, correct data, start dataload immediately, repeat process chain. Error fixed at 3 Dec 09 06:45 FT. Process chain completed successfully.

Then I thought...

PROBLEM: relationships failing, husband beats wife, wife controls and makes decisions for husband all the time, verbal abuse/shouting/screaming, siblings fight over inheritance/money, friends become enemies, hatred, making horrible assumptions/judgements of each other, selfishness, wanting acceptance and love from people only, idolising celebrities, indulgences to satisfy/pampering oneself always, child rebels against parent, no trust between friends, quarrels, my way versus your way, addicted to drugs/gambling/etc, adultery, gossips, work is a pain, health not right, messed up life, death, disease, crying, pain, chaos, war, etc

ROOT CAUSE: sin/rebellion against God

SOLUTION: God sends his son, Jesus to save us from our sins (God with us). He has appeared and shown who he is, and is alive (conquered death and has resurrected) and will return and everyone will know that He is Lord and everything will be set right in his terms. He's just being very patient with us now. =)

Neck pain animation

2009-11-26T16:05:00.000-08:00

can be seen here. That's what I have and it affects my upper back area. In pain since 8 Aug time. Now, that's a long time!

Think the animation is so cool! Get to see all the details of the insides of our body to get a better understanding. Amazingly created by an amazing Creator God!

Treatment so far: physiotheraphy, manipulation, cod liver oil, vitamin B, glucosamine, massage/kneading, neck stretches, KefenTech plaster/gel, Tiger balm muscle rub, Tiger balm neck & shoulder rub, pain killers, anti-inflammatory pills, cold pack, hot pack, neck strengthening exercises, etc.

Day at the hospital

2009-11-16T16:58:00.000-08:00

was interesting. Never spent a day at hospital with 2 appointments back to back, which is a good thing then I don't have to take leave just to go for 1 appointment in a day, bit of a waste of leave when that happens. Later on, friends who go for their hospital appointments told me that I could have asked hospital doc to give me MC (medical leave). If only I knew that earlier...

1st appointment was with Physio. Interesting to go through the system, as I'd prior experience with a commercial and private Physio. It's tough being a hospital Physio, the number of cases to clear per day is huge. And the experience gained is not as in-depth as I'd hope. Have greater appreciation for those who bite the bullet to go private, spending 1-2hours to treat a patient. Sometimes not sure if you'll be able to fix the problem or not. But definitely reading up lots and trying different methods and attaining other methods like cracking joints.

2nd appointment was with Orthopedic again. Wasn't the same perky young doc who made me feel like he's really taking care of me and doing proper root cause analysis of my pain. It was now an aloof young one with literally his nose in the air. Sigh. Tried to breakdown the aloofness, but it held on, so I gave up and was disappointed and abit put off. He didn't read his case notes done by previous doc and re-did checks all over again, and I'd to ask him how my x-ray was. "Bedside" manners are so crucial lest one becomes all clinical. Maybe a struggle with those in medical industry is how much empathy becomes too much for them til they can't perform their responsibilities? I wonder...

Smart aleck

2009-11-05T17:58:00.000-08:00

that's what a colleague said about Adam, the man of dust whom the LORD God formed from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

Adam, a smart aleck? It's true, isn't it? Definition of smart aleck = one who thinks he knows it all. Hmm, sounds like me =P...sometimes...

Have a quick read of Genesis.

C5

2009-10-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

means an area which is neck and upper back. Cousin said his injury in L4 & L5 refers to his lower back. Technical terms intrigue me.

Series of events triggered me to get an MRI done, since pain in C5 area still around after more than a month when the excruciating pain happened on 9 Aug. In the end, a physio friend said get MRI if company benefits are able to reimburse. MRI is really really expensive, which I just realised.

Went to polyclinic to get a referral to orthopedic specialist in hospital, so that I won't get charged private rates which is like double the amount. Polyclinic visit was interesting, doctor was young, didn't do as many checks as my sports doc friend did. And young doctor immediately started writing referral to hospital.

Good thing friends told me how to shorten my time at polyclinic queues by going there at 11.30am-12pm, as that's when most of the morning queue have cleared and polyclinic staff are in a haste to clear their work to go for their lunch break at 1pm. Also, reading mrbrown's blog about his polyclinic visit also made my visit made intriguing as it heightened my sense of observation. haha! But, I didn't dare go for Opportunistic Health Screening lah since deep down I knew what the results will be.

Hospital visit was more interesting, seeing people being pushed with a system, with a number in hand and watching all the Mr Bean silent shows on TV, picking up helpful educational brochures, seeing old folks with less alertness trying to figure out where they should be, nurses putting on stern looks in order not to be approached by just anyone, and people who return for follow-up appointments with steel rods jutting out of their legs, some with cast in their arm, etc.

Hospital doc/orthopedic specialist did like 8-10 steps to check my nerves, strength, reflexes, stability, and all ok. Then finally he went to see my neck and upper back and exclaimed "Whoa! You have muscle spasm!". haha! I almost cracked up, since I was trying to tell him I need MRI as requested by physio friend. And I thought since I couldn't turn my head fully to the left, he wouldn't have exclaimed about my muscle spasm?

As I sit at Outpatient area, amidst the hussle and bussle as though it was Orchard Road, just got me thinking as I see each face walking by/sitting/running around.....some have hope, some don't. Makes such a difference knowing that the Lord is with them whatever the circumstances. If they only knew the Lord and what he's heralding in when Jesus returns. No more death, no more sadness/mourning/crying, no more pain, no more failing bodies, no more...no more...no more...

Phatfish

2009-09-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

is a band, a christian band. Chanced on them at NWA08 in Wales. Found the band name "Phatfish" abit strange, but at one of those NWA nights (they called it "After Hours") where you could just go to the big tent and listen to a christian band jamming, I thought it was such a cool idea. So went with HW and KY who came especially for NWA since during their student days they would try to attend it. And KY told me her favourite song by Phatfish was "There is a day" and after I heard it, I was truly encouraged and made me long for the day Christ returns to set all things right.

Check out what blogger Adrian Warnock blogged about them and their new CD "In Jesus".

Creator God

2009-08-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

whom people say did not create them, but it's their father and mother who created them. Something my colleague said - about parents creating her - as a health topic came up between us, due to a month long pain in my neck and back. Probably also embedded in chinese culture where alot is attributed to parents who gave them life and even after parents pass away, prayers are said infront of parents' urns, and a huge respect goes to ancestor worship because without them we won't be here. But, is it really the case where it is really bad/disrespectful if there is no ancestor worship (not referring to respect for parents)? Is it really disobedient then to not give parents credit for giving us life (not referring to parents bringing us up painstakingly)? What about abortions? Those who didn't actually want to have children, be it for adults or teenagers, but decided on ending life. Are we really true life givers, creators of life? As long as we want to and in our ability, we can create life? Are we really the ones who can fuse cells together to create life? I wonder, I really wonder, so many things to consider in totality. We're not really in control, even if it seems what we do does give us a sense that we are, and indeed God did give us rule over creation. Yet given other situations, we realise we can't and what do we do then? How do we explain it when we can't?

And, what about married couples who can't have children, isn't that evidence that humans can't create life?

If illness takes over, why people don't turn to God who created/made them and rely on Him and not on themselves? Would they consider? if not, why not?

Would people just take a wee bit of their time to hear what God has to say, from his Word, and not assume that we know him? Its abit like hearing from the horse's mouth, if only a chance was given.

Truly, only the Lord opens blind eyes and stubborn hearts like mine.

121 with Dad

2009-08-31T19:49:00.000-07:00

enjoying those times with Dad, just him and me having a meal or going to sinseh (chinese physicians) or museums. Even though he talks loudly on his mobile like those coffeeshop ah-pehs ("uncles"), even though he wears his mismatch blue slippers with dark trousers, even though his front teeth has cracked and refuses to get it repaired, even though he uses toothpicks after meals to clear food residue in-between teeth, even though he sometimes behaves like a gangster and sounds like he wants to fight, even though he has aged alot and prone to falls, even though he gets excited about explaining to me technical engineering details which I don't understand, I'm still happy he's my Dad, strangely. Please pray for the Lord to be merciful and gracious to my Dad, to open his eyes that Dad will repent and turn to the Lord. Still think there's a niche ministry amongst those in their 70s, making friends with those who sit in coffeeshops, who talk about anything and everything happening under the sun. Through Dad, I get to know his friends' lives (what they used to work as, their family's makeup, etc) and what they do with their time and talk about. Asking the Lord to provide a christian friend to befriend my Dad.

Excruciating pain

2009-08-27T18:27:00.001-07:00

happened when I did some stuff during a week.

the week i did stuff: mon 3 Aug - did wrong crunch/sit-up exercises on hard floor, tue 4 Aug - slept with head on my arm, fri 7 Aug - moved, carried 20/8kg of books.

sat 8 Aug - woke up with excruciating pain from head to neck to back, and radiating pain in arms to tips of fingers, couldn't get out of bed. (trivia: did you know we use our neck muscles when we get out of bed? each morning, not only thanking the Lord for sunshine, a new day, also for neck muscles)

sun 9 Aug (singapore's national day) - 2 friends/couple, sports doc & physiotherapist, came to give me pain killer/anti-inflammatory pills and a neck brace to wear for 3-4 days. assessed root problem, taught me how to get out of bed, bought din for me, etc. thought of going to A&E, but doc said hospitals were on stand-by for mishaps at national day celebrations, so i'll have to wait a long time at A&E which i knew what the wait was like since i brought parents there on separate occasions. conclusion was that i'd strained spinal cord. worse case if pain doesn't go away, paralysis. i thought maybe this is all part of growing old, but doc says even sports people get it as well. haha, is it a relief to hear that? hmm...

mon 10 Aug - still had excruciating pain, went to neighbourhood doc to get medical leave, had 3 days of medical leave (tue - thu). changed pillow to have more neck support.

heard another friend, SW, had lower back problem and admitted himself to A&E, getting an injection of pain killer / anti-inflammatory and was discharged, going back to work the next day!!

fri 14 Aug - worked from home because it takes too much to get to office.

sat 15 Aug - still no relief from aching pain, went to physiotherapist clinic. had treatment and was taught exercises to move vertebrae which was stiff. met SW, who went to A&E for injection on mon, also getting physio treatment for lower back.

mon 17 Aug - didn't have excruciating pain when i woke up, but aching pain still there. continue to work from home, doing 4 types of physio exercises every 15mins.

wed 26 Aug - changed desk chair to have correct sitting position. stationary chair instead of the rolling one.

fri 28 Aug - been doing physio exercises everyday, and perspire from doing it. wake up in morning and pain still there. went to sinseh (chinese physician) during lunchtime and fainted. apparently, i was suppose to have eaten and after 1 hour, then see sinseh. my head was put in a neck brace to extend neck and needles inserted in upper back and neck. my hand was placed on a bell in case of anything. electricity was sent through needles and i would feel warm. think i blacked out in 5 mins because next thing i knew, i woke up and couldn't find bell next to my hand (might have fallen on the floor) and was leaning against doc, feeling weak and he was desperately trying to get my head out of neck brace, carrying me onto bed. then nurse gave me water and tissues because i was perspiring. lied down for 20mins and left clinic with medicine. i really don't like needles, although i bring my parents for accupuncture and have seen how its done. think i needed relief and wasn't getting any even though i did physio exercises. feeling tired as i haven't slept through the night (for almost 3 weeks) without waking up with aching pain and have to keep changing sleeping position.

i'm suppose to go back to sinseh next week after taking 3 days of chinese medication which tastes horrible. i should give the sinseh another chance to see if it works or change sinseh? hmm...

sat 29 Aug - went to get meds from neighbourhood doc and also ask if i need to get x-ray done. assessment concluded that i didn't have numbness in arms and hands, so don't need to. more meds to keep inflammation down and pain killers for relief.

visited godson cos he had surgery and was resting at home. his dad, a physio, treated my back and cracked it. strangely, there was less strain when i turn head left & right thereafter. apparently, if i exercise more, my strained muscles will stiffen up, no wonder! so, no lifting of heavy stuff and no exercise, need to lie flat on my back more often for relief. i can't sit for long in one position, as pain will take place. want to get stuff done, but so much involves the neck and back. sigh.

apparently, i'll need 8-10 sessions of physio to get better. turning head around still feels painful.

thankfully the Lord knows my body cos he made it and pain is truly a sign that something's not right, so many things to get done but limited and need to get relief/rest. wish there was a computer i could work on or get stuff done or talking to people while lying on my back.

Change for the better

2009-07-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

is what colleagues were talking about. How a person after attending some course, changed for the better. Self awareness courses to understand yourself better and hence changes happen thereafter, where marriages are closer, others see the benefits and ask how to, the person's priorities changed as well (maybe become nicer which is subjective), etc.

Sounds so much like how God transforms our lives when we get to know Jesus, but is it really the same?

Do people really want to be transformed? Do they really want change in their lives? Or only when severe/devasting events happen, then change happens in us? But there're still those times when even after something terrible happens and recovery happens, all seems to be forgotten and your old self just comes back like nothing really did happen?

But what makes people gauge that the effect of change in a person is better? Is it a personal gauge? It may differ from person to person (eg, friends may think it's good, but family don't think so), right? And how God truly transforms us, our minds, our lives, opens our ears and reveals himself to us in the person and work of his son, Jesus Christ, and everything culminating for us to all be like Jesus, what does that mean then? The benchmark is God's alone, not differing between persons, and all for his glory and his purposes since he created us and as we return to dust in the end, having been impacted and having impacted people around us. It's relationships in the end which God had established with us from the beginning....thank you Lord for taking the initiative to reconcile us back to you.

messed up...

2009-06-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

Forgetful
No appetite, but have to eat, and feel nauseous after eating
High stress levels
Wake up middle of night or wake up in early morn although slept late
Can't verbalise though its all in the mind
Bad decisions or can't make decisions
Not rational or objective
Emotional
Giving up easily, no perseverance
Snacking alot more, snacking as main meals
Increase in weight
Drown in loud music, dvds, retail theraphy as temporary relief though silly cos all temporal and of the world
Running out of ideas of where to go
Getting dressed stressful/tiring
Dread being in a crowd of people to get to know or just a hi/bye to those know by name
Tired of questions being asked which equates to productivity/usefulness of person, or ask for sake of asking or for sake of making conversation with no interest in person's relationship with God
Inconsistencies
Ignore God sometimes, not listening to him or even wanting to when waking up in the morning or before going to sleep at night or all day-time
Not able to maintain discipline, goes hay-wire or done once and it stops until months, possibly years later
Guilt
Passive
Withdrawn
Frustrated
Enjoy alot of time alone
Can't follow-up on people and what happens in their lives
Tendencies to latch on yet resist cos man will fail
Impatience with people who only think about themselves or think they're right
Can't think for people
Switch off when advice given with good intentions but with no real understanding of situation
Keep quiet when know can't converse or person not listening
Rage/Anger
Do not like empathy from people or people trying to give/show value to other
Convoluted

somethings not right but even normally is everything really alright? when things go too smoothly, have to ask if its too smooth? or is that like seeking out something just for the sake of it or its too good to be true or just plain pessimistic? complicated. confused. need clarity! need big picture which only our gracious God can give. nobody is as strong as they look. greatest man fall too and pride sometimes is the reason. and it could be facing so much opposition to fight against, sometimes it gets blurry.

sin in me

long for Jesus' return, long for God's discipline, long for judgement to be meted out so can move on and not swing between now but not yet

scared of God letting go

truly recalcitrant

falling quite badly

those who plan for their own funeral...

2009-02-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

is it morbid? is it positive thinking? why do it? why worry about it? so bizarre!

But what about planning for retirement? Isn't that the same?

For those in Singapore, at CPF (Central Provident Fund), we still need to always come back to the question of whom to nominate to inherit our CPF $ when we die. If we get married, we again need to revisit the nominee question again. So if that's the case, seeing death around us, not really that morbid, right? Why then do people around me cringe and think i'm weird when I say that I've thought of what songs to be sung at my funeral?

Health forms

I've yet to think which passage for my funeral where all will hear and want to come to know the Lord Jesus. Hey, maybe the best is to just give out free bibles to all at my funeral since the whole of God's word echoes of him who came to reconcile us back to Him, giving us an eternal hope of his return to set all things right in this world He created which is ruined by our rebellion against him? Haha! Free bibles at a funeral, I can feel those eyebrows around me being raised yet again.

What do you think of Christmas?

2008-12-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

Probably slightly similar to what Singaporeans/Asians think Christmas is...

That's Christmas! from andy pearce on Vimeo.

London Underground Station Supervisor

2008-11-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

I met at Warwick Avenue tube station, which is near my host home in London, whom I've asked Cornhillers and some friends to pray for...remember Tim Pinn, the Station Supervisor? The ones who stand around at the tube gates where you tap your Oyster cards? The ones who open the bigger gates for those with big luggages and buggies/prams? The ones who help you to figure out the "complicated" tube map and also know the streets outside the tube at the back of their hand?

Recently, my host CH, had the opportunity to have lunch with him!! I was SO happy upon hearing that. CH got to know Tim better and plans to do a bible overview with him, something which is much needed, after the few chats with Tim on my way home or going off via Warwick Tube station. Appreciate your prayers for Tim.

Some friends wondered how this all happened. Well, when you're always passing the same place and always meet the same person, you're bound to (with curiosity) say abit more, aside from a nod and a smile. If you ever see Tim, you'll know what I mean. He's one of the rare Station Supervisors who smiles and I mean really smiles alot, and writes funny quotes on the white boards about the weather or something when all the tube stations are running without problems. Love reading his funny quotes.

It all started one Sunday, I was rushing to church and took the tube (normally I take the bus), and there he was on duty. Asked me where I was heading to, since it was a Sunday. I said I was going to church, then he said "oh, you're such a good person, going to church", which I responded "No, I'm not a good person, hence I need to go to church". Thereafter, he was puzzled and I had a chance to explain why its not about being good that you go to church.

Romans 3
10"None is righteous, no, not one;
11no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
12All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one."

Then I asked him a question as I've always been wanting to ask...whether he was a christian. He said his relationship with God is up and down. There are good days when he looks at the vast and beautiful creation/nature, then when he sees people suffering, he questions God why it has to be so and those are the bad days. In the subsequent chats on and off, we talked about the bible, life, people, a church he attended, christians who passed through Warwick Avenue tube station who talked to him, God's law, his holidays, etc. Amazing, now that I think about it, how God enabled me to meet Tim. Please pray for Tim and CH in the days to come. So many opportunities to share the gospel/good news with people around us when they want to hear!

so difficult to love and understand

2008-11-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

one another...that's why Jesus asked his disciples and us, believers, to love one another. We really messed up our relationship with God and with each other, see Genesis.

We hurt each other with remarks, we don't hang around with people we don't like, we gossip, we don't want to even understand or get to know the people we don't like but confirm in our own mind that we know them thoroughly by comments through third parties and what we observe, we have no compassion for each other. And I'm guilty of it too. How could I?

The breakdown of relationships with each other, all because we don't know what our loving Creator God has done for us. Loving us when we're unlovable and when we have ignored/offended/hated him. Why are we like that?

Keep remembering Ephesians 6...
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.

"Nothing is free in this world"

2008-10-15T02:32:00.000-07:00

my colleague said recently...because we were talking about something in the news, I think. My instant reaction in my mind was "But, but...there is something free in this world!", then I wonder what they'll say.

Romans 5
15But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. 16And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. 17For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

Hmm, now how do I let him (and those around) know about this? Do I write an email and mention about it? I'm so not good in thinking on my feet and responding at that very instant. I ponder and think about the conversations and pray for more opportunities later on to tell them about Jesus. Will I be too late? Will they even want to hear and ask more out of curiosity?

Voicebox affected

2008-10-13T08:05:00.001-07:00

Can't believe it! I've been sick for almost a month/4 weeks!! I've never been sick for so long. Sigh. Started with my usual inflammation of the tonsils, then dry cough, then lost of voice. ARGH!

Saw neighbour doc 3 times, and was on medical leave for 4 days in span of a month.

Want to catch up with people, yet I think I need to not talk for 3 days then voicebox will recover. Maybe I should do the stuff which singers do before their mega-concerts...ie, wrap their necks with scarf to keep it warm. Wonder if that will work?

So sad, realised that I need my voice to meet/catch up with people, get things done, solve computer problems at work, communicate what I want to order at the hawker centre, relate to loved ones, etc. There's only so much SMS or online chats can do and sometimes can be misunderstood. Makes me treasure the spoken word and also makes me realise how much I *do* talk. haha! Helps one to listen more, but it also restricts what you want to express because I've to rest my voice.

Wonder if I'll have a permanent hoarse voice from here onwards...hmm...

my teacher's coming to Singapore!!

2008-10-05T22:46:00.001-07:00

Yippee!! My teacher, CA, will be coming to Singapore!! I'm SO excited!!!

Sat 18 Oct, 9am - 12.30pm at Singapore Bible College
"Married for God"...uncovering God's purpose for your marriage.
Click here for details and you can read a snippet of his book of the same name "Married for God" from here.

His wife will be giving a talk to women on "Being God's women in God's world" at my place on Sat 18 Oct, 2.30-4pm (8 Oct 08: time changed). So, if you're interested, insert a comment in this blog entry and I'll contact you.

CA will also be giving talks here as well....

Tue-Wed, 21-22Oct, 7-10pm at Orchard Road Presbyterian Church
"Grappling with God: Expositions from Job"
Click here for details and you can read a snippet of his book on Job "Out of the Storm" from here.

what's a gobbet?

2008-09-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

"what have you been doing in the past year?"
"what certificate did you get?"
"you're not working for church?"

Many questions were asked. To some, I got excited telling them what I'd learnt and one led to another, and thought it's good to share the preparation work/where I begin when I receive a passage to lead bible study or to give a talk . It has affected my reading and you'll start to observe and hopefully listen carefully to God's word, with your mind blown away, going away repenting/rejoicing/thanking. Alot of hard work!! And lots of prayer!!

LOOK AT VARIOUS VERSIONS of the passage…

NIV (gives thought for thought words)

New Living Translation (gives sense for sense words)

ESV (is word for word)

CONTENT

What type of literature is it: parable, narrative, letter?

What’s passage about? Is there a clear argument, structure or theme?

What’s emphasized or repeated?

What are the difficulties – thing you don’t understand, or need to check?

What are the surprises – things you didn’t expect?

CONTEXT

Where does it come in the immediate context? How is it linked to what comes immediately before and after it?

Where does it come in the book as a whole?

Where does it fit in the bigger Bible storyline?

PURPOSE

Why did the author write this passage to these people?

Why did he say this, and not something else?

Why did he say this here, in this part of his letter or book?

FOR EPISTLES…

What are the ISSUES?

Any FACTS/ENCOURAGEMENTS?

Any OBLIGATIONS (to) ACTIONS?

BIG IDEA (form a sentence of 10 words or less)

This is the tough bit, as you'll keep thinking what the Big Idea is of the passage. By this time, you would have memorised the whole passage and thinking about it day and night, teaching yourself, struggling with your sin, asking God to help you with your stubborn heart, your dense mind.

AIM (to teach)

TEACHING POINTS (from passage which can become talk outline)

Dear friends, hope the above helps. Let me know if you have any questions.

Gobbet - In Cornhill, that means a chunk of a passage given to us to work on. It's not a full blown talk, but a passage to work on

so many plans...

2008-09-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

so much to do...lots to dependent on God to continue his work in my heart, ie, heart surgery =)

Many have asked me what are my plans since coming back...here's a snippet...
- helping out at a youth camp in Dec 08, preparing a bible talk on 'money'
- maybe facilitate a gobbet group
- christmas evangelistic talk at my church's children's church (7-12 years old) where the week after it climaxes with a christmas party
- sessions with small group of girls (3-4)...eg, blibical womanhood, christian & work, DJ's DVDs on how to teach OT/NT, sharing of what I'd learnt in Cornhill, etc
- meeting up with girls one-to-one to read the bible
- christmas party for non-christian friends where the youtube clip below will be shown (thanks to N's blog where I chanced upon it) with a 5min talk to contextualise it locally, and food cooked by a friend who's a really good cook *slurp*, who will also bring her non-christian friend

starting work

2008-08-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

tomorrow....time sure flies!

At this time last year, I was depending on the Lord for his providence financially and as I settled down in London, trying to know where things were, how things worked and getting my bearings. And I was so thankful to the Lord for the host family, Hawthornes.

Now, I'm back to the same company, same job with the same team-mate I'd worked with, and I'm again amazed and thankful to the Lord for what he has provided yet again.

Prayer point: that God won't let my heart wander and like Ezra "set his heart to study the Law of the LORD, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel" (Ezra 7:10).

I'm SO thankful for Jesus and what he has done for us! Still awed by what Jesus has done on the cross to restore us our dignity of being made in God's image.

What's Singapore like?

2008-07-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

Many overseas friends have asked me...

Click here as I found a website of photos taken by people who have visited Singapore. Good perspective from their end.

Back home

2008-07-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

...it has been around a week since being home. In 10 months, Singapore has changed in many ways. Have to adjust to new buildings, road divertions, latest happenings like the museum festival, etc.

Aside from feeling like an oddball once again, ie, a local yet not local cos I enjoy angmoh/foreign things like picnic in parks, walking, showing foreigners the local stuff, etc. I'm definitely more sensitive to things around unlike before...

Went to Bugis to activate my mobile, and was struck by how materialistic Singapore is, especially the change in the layout of the shopping centre at basement of Bugis with all the advertisements and signs say it all. Marketing certainly shows what entices and attracts the society/culture

There are alot of cars in Singapore, went to Singapore General Hospital for mum's accupuncture appointment and all the carparks from Carpark A to I were full around 10.45am

Prices of food have increased in air-conditioned food courts. Not possible to find $3 meals.

There're alot of conveniences here, like you just have to walk 5-10mins and you'll reach places you can get stuff done. Having walked so much in UK, walking here made me aware of the conveniences. Strangely, maybe now I'm walking at a slower pace, I don't perspire as much as I did before I left. And the trusty umbrella is well needed, so I don't bother if some think it's really "aunty" (local term associated to being old) to carry one

Bus drivers here are kind and I truly appreciate them. They see you running and they wait for you. There was even a bus which was full and the bus driver stopped for me to get on, but I dared not because it was full to the brim, though I could have squeezed myself in, but I didn't. In UK, the bus driver wouldn't even open the front door if it's full (capacity restriction/safety law)

Have to get used to air-con. From leaving an air-conditioned building, getting out to the humidity and heat, then into an air-conditioned bus, only to drop off into the humidity and heat, and walk to another bus stop and get onto another air-conditioned bus. Have to positioned myself in the bus to not sit under the strong blow of the small air-conditioned pipes/holes, or keep adjusting those small pipes/holes to get less of the strong air-con wind. Need to keep a cardigan in my bag now

Really miss the variety of food! Have to limit myself to eating 1 favourite dish during each meal time, less my tummy grows in size again! haha!

Familiarity of understanding all the dialects around me

Being able to call older folks/workers aunty and uncle, though they aren't related to me in any way (in UK, aunty and uncle means they are your relatives). Also the strong understatement that older folks are wise, have all the answers and they will gladly tell you the answer. If they don't know or have question, it shows their inability and they'll lose face infront of a younger person...never knew it was that strong before.

Trying to fight off conformity and not be so sensitive that people are looking at me

Was amazing meeting ex-colleagues from Finland who were here on business trip, and hearing all the familiar names of other ex-colleagues. Also visiting the office and seeing all the familiar faces!

A trait of kay-poh-ness (inquisitiveness) amongst people here, wanting to know what were my plans from here onwards and knowing that I'm trying to find a job, their minds start rolling on how they could help and whom they know. It's really all about networks, an asian thing

When I took the MRT trains, I noticed the large space between the 2 opposite rows of seats. I remembered in London's tube trains, the standing space inbetween opposite rows of seats were really small/tight, only 1 person can fit inbetween

Segregation of society between the english-speaking and chinese-speaking is very wide though both look chinese by skin color. The acceptance of each other isn't there. It shows in their dressing and their body language of the great divide. You'll see it in the bus.

There are lustful old men here just as they are lustful youths in UK who eyeball girls

Alot of girls follow latest fashions and currently it's off-shoulder tops/dresses

Asians are really small in size! I towered over some
We're a sensing culture. I hardly bummed straight into a person whilst walking unlike in London.
Busy-ness with time flying fast here, you get sucked into it and before you know it, the important things like reading God's word has been replaced by tasks or TV drama serials
Seems like everywhere in the crowd, whether its downtown or where your flat is, there're foreign workers and space-wise, it's getting packed. London's Oxford St is busy, but once you go to the outskirts, it's less busy. Friend told me that Singapore govertment plans to increase population by 6 million! *jaw drop*

Alot of drinks are sweet here, like teh peng (tea with milk), can drinks, fruit juice, etc. Think I only drank tea without sugar or water in UK, and the occasional Bulmer's cider =P

Not many wide open parks accessible by walking. Labrador Park which is one of my favourite because it's near the sea, you'll have to drive there, as it's a long long walk from the main road

I don't get many hugs here. Only if I see a really close friend, I'll dare to give a big hug. Otherwise even if I see friends whom I've known for more than 2 years, it'll just be a wave of "hi" standing right infront of the person

Conclude...Singapore is a truly modern city which pampers its citizens alot! Its citizens are truly materially rich, seeing from the food restaurants.

The challenge now is how to see our society from the gospel mindset, how has the world been brought into the church? I wonder what are the possible/common worldviews amongst Singaporeans...

Cornhill days coming to an end...

2008-06-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

yesterday, we (2nd years and full-timers) spent praying from 1.30pm - 4.30pm with a tea break in-between. 6 people went up to share their prayer points on summer plans, short term plans and long term plans. After that in groups of 6 we prayed for those 6. Next 6 went up to share and we pray for them, until all 50-60 persons have shared. It was amazing! Exhausted and SO dependent on our great God in all that we do! Thankfulness to him and awareness of our weaknesses and how the devil can use it to steer us away and bring us down! Yet, God's work to bring all under Christ will continue, all to be made Christ-like. Such an assurance.

Going to miss my Cornhill days, the brothers and sisters whom I've learnt much from, who have impacted and challenged my life in various ways, the humility of the teachers before the Lord as they taught us, etc...especially the Lord humbling me and teaching me great truths about himself to me, how great is our God!

CA shared this verse with us which is really poinant for me! Reality of the world we live in, while we wait for Jesus' return...

1 Peter 5:8-9
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

God has been SO kind...

2008-06-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

He has been SO kind to the Hawthornes, giving them the gift of life in a baby girl (Rebekah Gillian-Mei Hawthorne) just born this morning! The anticipation of waiting, wondering each night if maybe baby will be delivered tonight. She's been so active in her mummy's tummy that I thought maybe baby could be a boy, though deep inside I was praying, asking God to grant them a baby girl, then realising that I should just thank Him for giving them a healthy child whether boy or girl. But, I am content with whatever the Lord gives, truly content and very thankful to Him.

Her brothers were also excited, got them presents to congratulate them - Joshua being the older brother of 2, and Reuben becoming a big brother for the first time. It's so wonderful that they're brothers of a little sister!! During lunchbreak (between church and bible study), couldn't help it but as I tried to find lunch for myself, I ended up chancing upon charity shops opened on Sun, and found really nice girlie clothes for Rebekah. =) After bible study, went straight to hospital because doctor still wasn't there to discharge Helen, to accompany boys back home. She has jaundice, so mum & child staying in hospital tonight. Need to pray for speedy recovery for both mum & child.

I am SO happy for them! I've learnt so much from them (some theories were confirmed, some had to be re-learned) about pregnancy, delivery of child, bringing up children and now, how to care for the little one and how amazing it is how the child's body grows/reacts. Random fact: Did you know the initial poos by baby for the first week looks like black liquid tar? Also that the layer of skin round her is not washed off? It's rubbed into her skin cos it's natural moisturiser?

Lots to learn and rely on the Lord for his breath of life breathed into Rebekah.

Matt Redman's song sung at church this morn put a smile on my face just thinking about all that the Lord has blessed me with in the past year, especially my host family which includes being able to experience the joy of a newborn child:

Jesus Christ, I think upon your sacrifice
you became nothing, poured out to death.
Many times I've wondered at your gift of life,
and I'm in that place once again,
I'm in that place once again.

And once again I look upon
the cross where you died.
I'm humbled by your mercy
and I'm broken inside.
Once again I thank you,
once again I pour out my life

Now you are exalted to the highest place,
King of the heavens,
where one day I'll bow
but for now I marvel at this saving grace,
and I'm full of praise once again,
I'm full of praise once again.

And once again I look upon
the cross where you died.
I'm humbled by your mercy
and I'm broken inside.
Once again I thank you,
once again I pour out my life.

Prayer point: that Rebekah one day comes to personally accepting the Lord Jesus as her parents have and will teach her about the Lord Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Ephesians 6:4
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

And like Timothy learning from his grandma & mum, Rebekah will learn from her parents in the same way...and all through faith/believing in Christ Jesus! That Rebekah's heart will one day believe and with her mouth she confesses and is saved!
2 Timothy 3:14
"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. "

camomile

2008-05-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

is my all-time favourite tea....because I read somewhere that it relaxes and calms. And when I first drank it, I really had a good sleep!

And when my host, CH, asks if I want anything to drink as he goes and makes himself his english decaf tea, at one stage, I kept asking for camomile tea. Such that he came up with a joke dedicated to me! haha! It goes something like this...

"What do you get when you put a tea bag on a camel and it walks a mile?"

"Camomile tea!" hahahahha!!! I love my brother CH! =)

I've also been switching to crysanthemum tea and he's been twitching his brains to come up with another joke but it hasn't been as punchy as the one above...til the next original CH joke...

God's gracious work in my Cornhill school-mate Noble

2008-05-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

See here:
http://www.transformed.org.uk/lives/noble-roberts/

Went with Noble and another Cornhill school-mate, Akshai, to the "Transformed" meeting, which was at Brixton. Brixton area at night was an eye-opener for me.

Noble's using my bible, you know!! My bible's on youtube! haha! Last minute, he borrowed it. Wise man! And he said my bible is a Cornhill bible cos it's ESV. Haha!

It was truly encouraging to see him planning to read scripture (Ephesians 2:1-10) then share his testimony. And how his aim in sharing his testimony is to share Christ. It'll be SO evident and result in people praising God for his work in us, wanting God's work in their lives as well, since the different methods in which God has caused us to turn to him in repentance will be different for everyone, and the method won't apply to everyone. BUT, sharing Christ will impact the hearers (!!)...something I learnt during mission week when I shared my testimony about how Jesus became bigger and bigger in my life, which is all of God's grace and mercy towards me. A sharing of testimony where your hearers wonder and want to know who Jesus is, and not where your hearers just go away saying "Oh, that was an amazing testimony" and that's all there is.

God knows the problem with us - it's our hearts. No matter how anyone tells me what to do and gives me instructions, if I don't want to do it, nothing can be done. Even if I do it, it may be for a little while and I stop doing it. Or I totally rebel against God. A change of heart is needed. PRAISE the Lord for Jesus!!

Jeremiah 31:33
"This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time," declares the LORD. "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people."

Belief in God versus science...

2008-04-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

(A pic in Bournemouth when I went rockpooling with the Hawthornes. Amazing coastline! I was in awe...)

the start of my final term...studying Genesis! And here's the Genesis Controversy!

3 reasons to be concern about the debate (ie, belief in God versus science)...

Don't reject evolution, but argue from science point of view (ie, if you think that you evolved from an ape, then is it your mom or dad's side?)
Huge amount of hostility and opposition from Christians that this is key to whether you're a Christian or not BUT this is NOT the gospel
The lost in wonder/power/majesty of our Creator God is replaced by argumentativeness

Here's a good song which teacher SA played for us to listen (note the lyrics):
Song..."It all begins and ends with you (God, center of the universe)"

Verse 1
In the beginning
Before You set the world in motion
Uncreated God eternal

Radiant beauty
Infinite, the God head three in one
Perfect Father, Spirit, Savior

Chorus:
And it all begins and ends with You
It all begins and ends with You
The first the last the center of it all
And in You all things are held together
The sun the moon the stars the heavens
Creator God, the center of it all

Verse 2
All of the Universe explodes in song before designer King
Valley shaper, mountain maker
The stars sing out, they can't contain the praises of their God
Earth creator, heaven shaker

Bridge:
Beginning of it all
The reason for it all
The centre of it all

a debater worth listening to

2008-03-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

check these out...
Jay Smith
pfanderfilms

"a love for the lost, do I have?"
all I can say is that I'm inspired and pushed to find out more...going back to the text!

I'm hoping to not go to heaven

2008-02-29T13:03:00.000-08:00

...heaven is like a stopover, the final destination is the new heaven & new earth. Offering hope, not offering heaven. Therefore, "I'll go straight into the new creation!"....this was what we had to think through during doctrine session on Resurrection by CA. Sort of shocked our systems when he said "I'm hoping to not go to heaven". =)

It's strange, but the session confirmed some stuff I was thinking about before...about how the new heaven & new earth coming down out of heaven.

Act I (God creates it)
- there was harmony of Heaven & Earth
- God created, everything was good
- governed by human beings, delegated to Adam & Eve
- but it doesn't last long in the bible

Act II (Devil messes it up)
- schism between Heaven & Earth
- instead of harmony, separation of Heaven & Earth, everything divided
- Heaven = God's space, not location, it's above our space / distinct from our space
- Earth = our space

How do we know there's an Act III?
Not that we'll be air-lifted to heaven, but this place will be transformed, radical change.
If it's "beam me up to heaven", it'll suggests immorality & irresponsibility, because there's no need to do anything while we're here.
But, if it's a new creation, suggests more engagement, responsibility & morality, because everything done is in view / looking to new creation.

Act III (God remakes it)
- reunion of Heaven & Earth: continuity and discontinuity

It is the same Creation
Heaven and Earth are reunited at the Cross
It is ruled by Christ's people
It is purged of all rebellion
It is deeply transformed

"Going to heaven" avoid it >> "Going to new creation"

It's not me & my destiny, but it's all about God & his purposes & his glory

Romans 8
18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Blown away...

2008-01-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

by what was taught in the past 2 days. I'll try to give a snippet and hopefully through my limited expression and notes in point form in the english language, my dear friends at home will be able to know what I've been learning...

Titus by Stuart Allen

1Paul,

a servant of God

and an apostle of Jesus Christ,

for the sake of the faith of God’s elect

and their knowledge of the truth, which accords with godliness,

2 in hope of eternal life,

which God,

who never lies,

promised before the ages began

3and at the proper time manifested in his word

through the preaching

with which I have been entrusted

by the command of God our Savior;

- Why do you think Paul wrote such a detailed introduction to his letter to Titus? What is the main point he is making here?
- The colors match and you can see what's sandwiched stands out...
- Eternal life is at stake!
- The reason behind Paul's calling >> the future hope
- Pursuit of greater good in future, hence present denial

Tuesday Gobbets on Mark (Intro to Mark) by Robin Sydseff
- Learn Mark off by heart, know the rhythm of it, so when you're on tube/mrt, you'll be thinking/pondering over it
- The Gospel books, not just evangelistic tools for non-Christians, also written for Christians (training/discipleship)
- Challenges
(i) Familiarity, most often congregation switches off, people won't be able to tell difference between Mark & John, only that it is about Jesus, the Gospels are the least understood
(ii) Getting a line on the different Gospels - John (evangelism...signs, discourses), Luke (assurance to Theophilus, tonic to the Christian soul), Mark (Messianic secret, centurion's statement is high point "You are the Christ" 15:29, and training)
(iii) Constructing a coherent series - summary titles in bibles have no coherence to the book/rhythm
(iv) Teaching the Gospels to Christians - as well as to non-Christians
(v) Tough literary genre - parables, narratives, discourses, prophesy, miracles....need to switch gears and get the rhythm right
- 4:38 Mark's unique...disciple's fear mentioned. How many times we say "God doesn't care". Reality is sometimes that it's not calmed...got to address it
- 4:39 Jesus saying "Be still!", in Greek is term associated with exorcising, thus we see the waves in a different light, one associated with evil, since you only exorcise evil. Application: Jesus' inactivity doesn't mean he doesn't care!
- Power of nature meets power of God. Storm which could have killed them, the fishermen knew that since all experienced fishermen would have known what kind of storm they could steer away from.
- Don't forget Mark's key contribution! Get back into text!

Doctrine by Tim McMahon
Developing and Teaching Doctrine
- What's doctrine? categories, articulate, how the bits come together
- A human activity with a Divine purpose
(a) Constant reformation...never going to be able to sum up, constantly reviewing
(b) Bible vs Gospel...knowledge of Bible and knowledge of God...heart relationship base on content, can have knowledge but no heart, knowledge which affects life compared to just facts >> anyone can immediately pick out the difference
- our framework needs to be changed by the Word
- The Purpose of studying doctrine.
(a) To inform how we worship God....people's doctrine of God determines how they engage/relate to him (it), consider Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaeo-Christian
(b) To inform our understanding of Blibical texts (a recursive relationship with doctrine - one changes the other)...strangely for a person who has an abusive father, still have an innate understanding of what an unabusive father is like...all due to us being made in the image of God
(c) To inform our gospel preaching (largely doctrinal in evangelical circles recently)
(d) To inform how we live

Trinity
- The nature of God....a philosophical matter?
- Propositional statements about God...look at "God is light", you won't think much about it, but read up 1 John 1:5-7; 2:9-11; 2:18-19...."God is light" is in the relational context, fellowship, loving others
- Don't need exhaustive to have complete knowledge of God. Eg, marriage relationship, will we ever know spouse completely? No. Does it stop us from wanting to know more? No. What God has revealed enables us to have a deep, profound relationship with him.
- Teaching Trinity...recognise the limitations of models to explain Trinity, failure of physical/mathematical models but the relational model of marriage works. Pictures of liquid/ice/steam or egg/yolk/white, all fail because it's not relational. Need relational terms like marriage to describe the unity in Trinity or family terms. Eg, insult wife, husband insulted, or children praised, father is happy but is not in the limelight though he is the one who has brought them up.
Problem comes when equality comes into picture, but equality is not blibical. There's submission and authority, but people have problems with those words in the 21st century, the inadequacy of language. Read Bible, read with picture of Trinity, us being brought into the Trinity relationship which is one of joy and agreement with one another. Amazing!
- Next week is Christology, SO exciting!!!

Deuteronomy by Christopher Ash
Deuteronomy 4:21-31 why religion is wrong (why grace works)
v21 angry theme...Lord angry with Moses
v24 God is a consuming fire [good healthy jealousy, all or nothing God]
(1) consumes & burns up those not loyal to him (DANGER)
(2) if we're loyal, enemies will be consumed (SAFETY)

A. Idolatry scatters the Church (v21-28)
v25 I create the god I'm worshipping....projection of me
Theological: If 2 individuals create god, bound to be scattering, conflict, etc
B. Grace gathers the Church (or God gathers the Church by his word of grace) (v29-31)
v29 from there = place of scattering/from exile/from place where taste bitter fruit of suffering
v30 will return = repent
Theological ques: How does Moses know that some of them will repent/turn back?
Ans: because God swore the promise to Abraham so they will return. Gospel of grace Moses preached.

- land = rest
- what does it mean to "take the land"? Believe in the promise/faith. Unbelief hence didn't enter the land. We're not in the rest now.
- Deut = about faith, not legalism. Believe and hence live out your loyalty to God.

Conclusion: Post-modern doesn't care about church scattering, but mention family breakdowns, disharmony, they'll understand. And when they see changed lives, they'll be amazed.

Changed lives, changed hearts are all God's work! We couldn't do it even if we tried really hard. God's grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions. Let's consider what they means in each of our lives...
Titus 2: 11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Still not snowing...

2008-01-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

but it did frost in the early part of Dec as shown above.

There was also mist on Christmas eve, to my surprise.

Review of 1st term at Cornhill

2008-01-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

With the 1^st years, we went through…..

2 Timothy (Christopher Ash)

Bible Basics (Stuart Allen)

session 1: The Law

session 2: The Former Prophets

session 3: The Latter Prophets

session 4: The Writings

session 5: The Gospels

session 6: The Acts and Letters

Principles of Expository Preaching (David Jackman)

What kind of book is the Bible? (Nigel Styles)

Ministry Topics: (Christopher Ash)

- Who decides what the Bible means?

- Why do Christians meet?

- What kind of leadership do churches need?

- The blessings of Expository Ministry, “The Whole Counsel of God” (Acts 20:27) Planning Bible Teaching Programmes, Study Resources for Bible Teaching, Putting the talk together, Getting the talk across

- Christmas Speaking Opportunities

Pastoral Topics: women and men in Christian service (Christopher Ash & Carrie Saddom)

Gobbet Groups: 1 Tim, Luke, Acts, Deut, Malachi (Stuart Allen)

Exodus (David Jackman)

Pastoral Topics: Thinking Blibically about Christian meetings & buildings (Mark Ashton)

Carol Services (Christopher Ash)

Pastoral Topics: Contemporary Culture ‘Where in the World Are We?’ (Mark Maynell)

With the 2^nd years, we went through….

Romans 1-5 (Christopher Ash)

Principles of Exposition – Epistles (David Jackman)

Principles of Exposition – Gospels (David Jackman)

Principles of Exposition – Prophesy (David Jackman)

Malachi (Lee Gatiss)

Revelation (John Richardson)

Women’s Stream….

Recovering Blibical womanhood (Carrie Saddom)

Godly Women, Godly Beauty, Godly Speech, Godly in Good Deeds (Caroline West)

Blibical Womanhood at Work, ‘Careering out of control’ The pressures on working women today (Carrie Saddom)

Training women to serve, Encouraging Women into ‘Full-time’ Ministry (Jane Leggett)

Women in cross cultural mission (Genevieve Jennings)

Teaching children & all ages (Caroline West)

Model Expository Talk (Jane Leggett)

Evangelism with women, Evangelism strategy and programme, Teaching Women (Lizzy Smallwood & Daphne)

Model all age talk (Caroline West)

Ministry to married women (Tricia Marnham)

Leading Bible Studies (Annabel Heywood)

God’s sovereignty when things go wrong, God’s sovereignty and human responsibility (Carrie Saddom)

Issues women face, addressing pastoral issues (Caroline West)

Ministering to Singles, Single in ministry (Jane Leggett)

How did God us these women in their situations? (Carolyn Ash)

WOW! After I’ve reviewed what I’ve learnt, it’s a lot! Some may have doubt it since it’s a non-certificated course. But a lot of my school-mates will testify that it’s a really intensive course and stress at times, as our 5min gobbet, 7min exposition & 20min talks are like our exam dates. And the preparation for each will be 2.5hrs, 3.5hrs and 10hrs respectively. And besides that, you’ll need to spread out those hours, because it’s unlikely you’ll be able to think of the big idea (ie, forming 1 sentence of 10 or less words) in a day from the passage you’re studying. You’ll need to ponder and I struggle a lot with my sin and my background spectacles I read it with, keeping in mind that there’s the impact of the letter at those ancient times, and aim to handle God’s word aright and teach it correctly, especially teaching it to myself and often my mind gets blown by the treasures found and how it all clicks together. 5min gobbet’s audience is a mix group of 12, 7min exposition’s audience is the whole class of 50, 20min talk’s audience is 3 women school-mates. Every session there’s at least 1 teacher around supervising.

I get feedback from teachers and also fellow school-mates who assess what I’ve said based on context, content and whether teaching points came from the passage. I get encouragements too to trust in the Holy Spirit to do the work in men’s hearts and just keep praying.

Aside from that, there's the weekly homework to do. For example, this morning we can be given homework to read the 10 plagues in Exodus tonight, and the next morning we have to discuss about it. Phew! Keeps you on your toes and doing the work is really beneficial, because it helps the discussions we have with each other. Of course, there'll be some of us who can't get homework done because we're busy with ministry/church matters. How good it is to be able to spur each other on and sharpen each other.

Did I mention how humble my teachers are? They are all grasping God’s grace and teach with such quiet confidence, holding out God’s word for us to understand and heed, to follow our Lord Jesus for the rest of our lives till He returns! And they allow others to challenge them, to sharpen each other and they are always learning, knowing that though they may teach currently what it means at 45 years old, God may correct them when they’re 70 years old and they’ll accept that it’ll happen, not thinking they know it all and close their ears. You can see God’s work in them, for they couldn’t be the person they are if not for God working in each of their lives, turning them from darkness into the light of the kingdom of His son.

Sure am looking forward to my 2^nd term!! There’s mission trip to get more exposure as we go away separate ways to help various churches around London. Hoping to get to know my school-mates better too. In total, we have 21 countries represented. I’m the only Singaporean. Other Asians include Koreans, China,….Pakistan and Uzbekistan aren’t Asian, right? There are 2 english girls, one can speak better mandarin than me, and another can speak fluent Japanese, and both plan to return to China & Japan to continue with their mission work which they left for awhile to be equipped for further work there. So encouraging! Praying that there’ll be more Asians equipped in wanting to handle God’s word aright.

Know that I promised some of you that I’ll update my blog with what I’ve learnt weekly (at least I thought I’ll try), but the time went by so fast, that alas, like some of you told me already, it’s good enough if I’m able to do it monthly =) Shall try updating monthly…

So precious is God's family...

2008-01-02T02:19:00.000-08:00

just like our own family whether married or single. Singles do still have family which seems to be lost in conversations sometimes =) So nice to hear "how's your mom?".

Being in God's family, being able to pray for each other though physically distant from each other and our Almighty God hears us no matter where we are. That strangers can think of each other and ask God to protect them, to build them up in a Christ-like manner, and when we meet, we're like brothers and sisters cos we believe in Christ who saved us. This must sound strange to a non-believer. And the individual who's prayed for is supported by prayer and knows it, and strives onwards, trusting in God who gives us life and sustains us, and knows our every need and provides us with all we need, not want, according to His good purposes, working it all in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amazing how God designed our relationships!

Thank you to all who heard about my mom and prayed for her & me during this time. As her shingles attacked her brain nerves, it might be that she'll have to learn to cope with constant pain for the long term, though thankfully her sharp pains aren't happening every second. She's also thankful that God had mercy on her and she's learning to trust Him.

THANK YOU to all who helped me to look out and look after her, amidst your own family responsibilities (like coping with a 6 month old baby) or illness!! It really means alot to me! Showed me visually and practically what being in God's family means, sharing and bearing each other's burdens, going out of the way when we're able to, only because you all know how God demonstrated his love to you through Christ dying on your behalf, on the cross.

May we all consider how we live our lives daily, to number our days aright because we know what is at the end (Jesus' return!).

Pray...

2007-11-12T12:30:00.000-08:00

for my mum. She had a fall on Sat which triggered shingles/herpes happening on her head, affecting her eyes. It's difficult for a 68 year old to go through the pain and if she contracts pneumonia during this time, it'll be really difficult. She needs all the calamine lotion (for itch) and bicarbonate soda (for bath) and food to get her through these 2 weeks. Her pain could be prolonged due to her age and her eyesight will be affected. Apparently, her falls could have been due to the virus in her as it causes imbalance, but not sure.

Know that God will take care of her better than I will. I've to learn to trust Him as she goes through her illness without me for the first time. We should really be dependent on the Lord who sustains us. Friend was saying to me recently that when we're sick, it's actually the norm base on the fallenness of this world, and when we're well, we should thank God for giving us our health. But yet, we forget our Creator God when everything is going well.

Have to keep doing His good work and prepare for my 20min practice talk on Colossians this Fri. Praying I won't be distracted and able to put down words to teach the passage correctly. Depending wholely on the Holy Spirit, doing it's work in my heart to make me Christ-like.

God's creation power...

2007-11-01T14:55:00.000-07:00

...amazing stuff!

Evangelism topic was mentioned at student event "Only One Life" at All Soul's and also the CTC's women's stream "Evangelism with Women" session, and both brought to mind 2 Corinthians 4:1-6.

6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

What struck me is verse 6...God's creation power in Genesis 1:3 converted us, made our blind eyes see! Not our own claims of exercising our belief, but God's work totally. Left to ourselves, we will never want to believe, which some will debate that there is good in us such that we'll want to believe, but there isn't. All our being rejects God. If it wasn't his work to open our eyes & minds to see Jesus, we'll never be saved. Amazing stuff! Mind blowing!

Sunrise - a rough illustration of what the word "glory" means. Something I'd asked DJ about what picture would give a similiar idea of the blibical word "glory". He said sunrise would be good. My original amateur picture was crown jewels covered then unveiled. Sunrise is much better! Light shining out of darkness.

iSWOT

2007-10-31T02:37:00.000-07:00

i=international
SWOT = Study the Word Of Truth

So iSWOT is the international student bible study at All Soul's church which happens between 3 - 4.30pm on Sun afternoons, and which is my placement for the year whilst doing Cornhill Training Course.

There are 3 leaders, 2 guys (SE from Serbia, K from London) and myself. The other members are: JT from HongKong, J from Malaysia, M from Indonesia, S from Australia, Y from Korea, S from Romania (4 girls, 2 guys). Didn't realise that we all represent 1 country each until M noticed it when I mentioned it to her. Mostly students, with 2 who just started getting into working world. Their english standard is very good. Other iSWOT groups have students with english as second language. There are alot of students coming to London to study english, which is a surprise to me, as I thought most countries teach english locally already.

It's been good as we study the book of Philippians which is packaged as "Discipleship Explored", the second series from "Christianity Explored". All 3 leaders giving feedback to each other as we understand more about leading the group to have lives/hearts changed by God's word, relying on the Holy Spirit who works in them through the Word. To love all of them, just as God loved us by sending Jesus to die for us.

I lead 2 out of 8 studies and it's been humbling as I see my weaknesses and seek to teach faithfully and clearly with His help. Not possible by myself since nothing good can come from me. The moment I pride myself and my works, I lose my reliance on God.

Only one life...

2007-10-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

how true!

Went to "Only One Life" annual event last night. So encouraging to see all the students in London gather together and commit their year ahead to the Lord.

Learnt lots from Rico Tice's talk on Romans 1:18-25...

Why evangelism?
Romans 1: These are the reasons...Grace, Gehenna, Glory & Godliness

Grace
1) My heart is filled with God's grace
2) I long for God's grace for my friend

- Most important, our value in Lord Jesus, not in whether people reject or accept me (Romans 5:8)
- Sinner and righteous at the same time?
- How does God feel about you? Think about it. He's delighted because it's not through my own performance, but Christ's performance.
- Is that in the center of my being?
- If you knew the way God knows all about my weaknesses, you won't ever let me do his work
- Is God's grace in the center of your being?

Gehenna
Die with sin unpaid for >> go to Gehenna
Or with sin paid for >> go to the cross

- How we relate to God matters, how we relate to each other matters, how we relate to our loved ones matters, etc
- Think about non-Christian friend

(can't remember what was the last thing I'd learnt, or maybe need to relearn...)

Courting Disaster...

2007-10-24T04:51:00.001-07:00

You can download these notes and have a read and check up the references:
Just finished reading this book during trip to Cambridge this week. Don't think there is a book out there which puts it all together quite clearly the reasons about whether Christians and non-Christians should not date each other.

Great thing is there are 2 pages of notes to ponder and distribute to friends to have discussions with!

Met the author via my landlord and he's also an ex-Cornhill student. His sister is my school-mate currently.

Listening...

2007-10-19T15:17:00.001-07:00

Listening to Christ (Luke 10:38-42// Jane Tooher)

Was really built up by J's talk!

She has chosen what is better: listening to Jesus
- we always say we should have listen & we weren't actually listening
- wish we didn't hear it sometimes
- consider the number of hrs divided on what we spend it on

1. Everyday we do the ordinary (v38)
- ordinary = sleep, eat, play, work >> all necessary to live out our God-given lives
- ESV: Martha welcomed Jesus into her house, but how welcoming is she? It was extraordinary...Jesus was her guest!

2. The ordinary can distract us from listening to Jesus (v40)
- Martha got distracted
- got us frustrated reading it "shouldn't Mary help Martha?"
- Martha focused on herself "do you not care....", "Tell her to help me"
- why didn't she (Martha) see it? why include this passage in Luke?
- Luke wrote it to bring certainty (1:1-4)....How does each account bring certainty to us?
Go back to Genesis: mortal, profound insecurity, many things threaten to kill the body, trying to survive (society) to find security (eat, drink, clothes, respect, relationship, etc), but all FALSE SECURITY. Security found only in Christ (Luke 10:21-24, 35-37)

3. Listening to Jesus is the priority for the Christian woman (v39, 41-42)
- Jesus came to preach Kingdom of God. How you know that's the content? see v42 something that lasts for eternity
- Martha needs to choose
- Mary chose on what's base on Kingdom of God
- Struggling with Quiet Time? Make a choice/choosing...makes us more willing! not whether we feel like having it
- Listening to Jesus is a LIFETIME. Not like choosing to listen to Jesus on day of acceptance, like listening to husband on wedding day only
- True listening = obedience

May my mind be shaped by God's word!

Do you think heaven is up in the sky somewhere?

2007-10-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Since young, I've always thought heaven is a place in the sky. Probably influenced by all the chinese drama serials I watched on TV, depicting how good it is for immortals living amongst the clouds. Even in Sunday school, heaven was always a place somewhere up there.

After understanding the gospel/good news later on in my life, discovered it's about my relationship with Jesus, a reconciled relationship with God through Jesus' death and resurrection.

Further reading in Revelation 21:1-4 showed what heaven is...
' Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." '

I saw a graphical illustration (see attached photo) of Revelation 21 when I was at the London Women's Convention, held at Central Hall Westminister, helping with stewarding the event. In summary, it's restoration of garden of Eden, reversing effects of sin and what it did to us. So great are God's plans!

CA who loves the sea, and who apparently body surfs, can't believe there won't be any sea. He gave insight today on how to do expository on the gospels, in-between showing us that "sea" in the bible is used to depict chaos, evil, etc. It's unlike how those who love the sea, view it. Understanding how the bible uses terms like sea, is so important. Being aware of our own backgrounds/horizons which in our tainted sinfulness, we use it to read His words. Pray that we'll always want to listen to his word, working hard at understanding it, keeping in mind our horizon and not let it determine his words for us, making it sound what we want it to be, even in our own piousness. Thankful for God's grace on us all.

burst pipe

2007-10-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

wow! On Fri, 12 Oct, as I came back from school, the buses and vehicles were diverted and streets were extremely quiet. At first, thought maybe there was some bomb scare. Got abit cautious of my environment as I quickly tried to get home.

Nearer home, noticed some road construction with a big hole in the road. Was saying to myself, I'll be amazed if they diverted such huge load of traffic just to do road construction. Recognising that in my past experience, 3-day tube strikes do happen with inconvenience to masses of people.

I turned to the street where the shops were and noticed how muddy the roads were. Finally, upon getting home, found out from Helen & Chris that there was a burst pipe. And all that happened while I was oblivious to it...more news...

God is so amazing!

2007-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

I was telling my dear school-mate from 1st year Cornhill, Northern Ireland girl, R, that I really like a song which I've been hearing at All Soul's Sunday services and at Tuesday's 5th annual evangelists conference organised by All Soul's. She managed to find it online this evening! It's by Chris Tomlin. Song title is Indescribable.

Told R that I'm going to include it in my list of songs I've chosen for my funeral. She was surprise, I think.

The content in the song makes me amazed at God!! I'll need to get the music, learn to play it on piano and teach it. There's a piano at my place, though some keys are out of tune, but can still hear the tune. Lyrics in this song makes a difference!

(15 Oct: R made my day, she passed me a copy of the music!)

do we really listen?

2007-10-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

Do we REALLY listen/hear God's word and be doers of it? We do want to lead godly lives and please Him, don't we? But why do we hear and not repent? Are our lives changed once we're convicted by his Word? Maybe, just maybe we're not convinced and hear it only as knowledge in our minds, it doesn't affect our hearts and hence it did not energise our wills....

Principles of Expository Preaching by DJ:

Amazing stuff what I've learnt from DJ!! He's so passionate and he teaches himself God's word and prays what he learnt and taught himself into his listeners at the same! Each time he preaches, he reminds himself that it's the Holy Spirit who does the work. Such dependence on God and we very well should have such dependence since we're such failures left to ourselves.

Some points I've learnt which is mind-blowing...
- We need to be aware of the lenses we read the bible with, ie, culture/personal/tradition/people who have nurtured us/prior understanding of bible, etc
- Every translation = an interpretation
- scripture = human (individual styles/historic particularity) & divine (God's truth) = Lord Jesus (incarnation of scripture)
- It's God preaching God
- Be aware of boredom, always ending/concluding with Jesus. Not have it in a straight jacket, let it loose (this might raise some eyebrows, but I sort of know what DJ means by letting God's word be the authority amidst it all since he gave some examples from 1 Corinthians 1:1-3, 1 Peter, etc. Not sure how to explain in writing though)

EXEGESIS
* question to ask "What is he saying?", "What verses mean?", NOT "What verses mean to me/you?"
* drawing out the meaning
* development of arguments
* any parallels in other scripture? Scripture interprets scripture, ie, NT text controls OT interpretation
* discover specific/original meaning of the text
* keep reading, reading, reading! keep reading 3 months before teaching it...
(Ask God to enable us to draw out meaning of text. Holy Spirit to help us know what author is writing)
* more than just exegesis, getting connections to everyday life

EXPOSITION/HEMENEUTICS
* question to ask "Why is he saying this?"
"what objections is he dealing with?" because he writes to address it
"what arguments/evidences?"
"what is he persuading?"
* applies exegesis to current lifestyle context
* significance of text, ie, if it wasn't there, would it make a difference? What is significance of meaning? (application/implication of text)
* 1 meaning >> infinite applications
* meaning never changes
* don't think applications = commands, no grace
think implications = impact lives
* find the melodic line = theme tune
* book by book = exposition + theme tune >> teaches whole counsel of God
* (1) historical/theological context = Bible = What/Why
(2) literary context = Book = How does this fit in
* Book as a whole, look at (i) issues (ii) facts/encouragements (iii) obligations which translates to action
* truth of gospel needs to be beaten into our heards
* shock through with the gospel! will give us BIG visions & BIG hearts. if not correct, could drift back to religion (works approach), rather than on Jesus' work & ministry
* 2 ways to deny: religious, irreligious (relative, pragmatic)
* know how Bible works, ie, Romans for modernist, Galatians for post-modernist

STRUCTURE
* engaging at deep level with people. Logical on fire, not on ice. Speaking the truth in love
* failure of sermons/talks: lack of clear program, muddle in the middle, hence can't sift out what's going on
* structured talk >> [strategy] >> conveys message
* how it's made contemporary (see Paul's preaching example in Acts 17)
* preaching pastorally to Christians (see 1 Corinthians 5 which gives the issue/problem > why > what to do, showing the gospel principle > pointing to the cross > showing up the inconsistent behaviour)
* (1) Questioning & Undermining Assumptions
(2) Deconstructing arguments, stating the truth
(3) Answering objections, whether it'll hold up
* assume human heart won't want to listen, will object
* decide on central theme, ie, message of the talk, in 1 sentence / what holds it together. If can't articular, probably don't understand, so need to exegete more
* relate it to aim sentence, ie, purpose of the talk...why am I preaching this?
makes aim to be my prayer! into myself, into my talk
* construct the outline. What are the marker posts/big points/main things in the passage you want people to know
* main points > creates structure of talks
* theme sentence expresses the main points
* got the skeleton, how to put flesh?
State...have I?
Explain...have I?
Apply...have I?
* is there enough explanation?
* "so what" factor between Explain & Apply
* weakness for most evangelicals = exposition
need to get nose into passage, take me into text, finger on the text, built it into talk
* thinking yourself into the passage, present the content, anticipate objections/issues
* illustrations are mental photographs that illumines ideas of sermons/talks
* not good to rely on illustrations to keep people awake, but it should be the content to engage people
* choose your way in > INTRO (draw people in)
choose your way out > CONCLUDE
* how will it be gripping? Hey (factor), You, Look, Do
* every sermon/talk counts! get people hook into the event
* be confident, be dependent on the Lord! invite congregation in
* aim to end with application, go back to central theme, with few crisp sentences & END
* give people time to think/pray about what they've heard, to respond

NOTES
* best is with A5 paper with big fonts
* every point separated for easier referencing each time you look up and look down to your notes

God (through his Word, by his Spirit) should be the driver lest we crash if we were the driver of the text, ie, Bible in driving seat (determines how we do it). An issue/problem with evangelicals is that preacher in driving seat and bible is in passenger seat. Something to watch out in ourselves.

SUBMIT under WORD (mind to mind) >> EFFECT takes place (heart to heart)

It's more than get it right, it's to get it INTO the text!

For a 20min talk, we'll need to give 2hrs30mins for each of the above 4 sections to really have done work on it, total of 10hrs. Not too much less we spew commentary onto our listeners, but enough to work with. Want a sermon that grabs people otherwise won't nurture the congregation. Wow! Nurture! I wouldn't have thought of that all these years.

Nurturing by preacher > Bible nurtured > build church/one another up
(Takes nurture of text/God's word into our world to nurture us)

Produce gospel people (long term/strong disciples), not religious people

DJ: "Through MIND, to HEART, to activate the WILL". Such a clear understanding of his role as teacher of God's word! How could this be lost?

God's word in sermon can (1) harden or (2) soften hearts. (1) can be hardened naturally by doing nothing after hearing, no change, no penetration. Great responsibility to teach AND to hear it!
Pray: Fight against assumption of text and thinking that I know it. Need to apply my mind to God's word.

rebuked...

2007-09-30T14:13:00.000-07:00

Wow! Ke-nah rebuked today by placement supervisor in a loving manner today, considering I wasn't put on a guilt trip for forgetting our first appointment and had to re-schedule to today's time.

Scripture below was brought up as a reminder (which I need to read again to double-check what it meant and whether it really meant what she had said). In addition, she mentioned if I'd paid for the course and during the course since I do practice talks, I should try it out in real life, otherwise what is the use of doing the course?

I was apprehensive and wanted to think about it for awhile, since it came as a surprise and I wasn't expecting any opportunity here until I had finished the course, and I wanted some feedback at least before I did it for real. It's really daunting when I did it last year in GB and once at children's church with some friends giving me feedback on what I need to improve on.

Supervisor was gracious enough to let me give talks in Term 2, after i've received feedback at my course. Will have a chance at 8am communion service (which has few people and usually, a non-christian/traditional crowd), and also once at int'l students' social night on a Friday. Both should be 5 minute talks, but basically evangelistic.

Amazed at how God provided this chance and a supervisor who's pushing me abit more which she said plainly. Quite intrigued how christian brothers & sisters here trust in Him, willing to trust PT in their acceptance of me and hence helping me progress in my decision making in ministry. Though I would not have a bigger crowd to speak to, if it was me as church staff, I would choose to control it abit more and assess the person before offering the opportunities at church. Thinking of why I would choose to do so compared to how my brothers & sisters here make choices. Have we been too controlling and not trust God? Even if wrong decisions are made, Christ is preached, that's what matters, right? Did we not put others first above ourselves when we manage an apprentice? Not being able to draft out the progression for them and their needs, then see how church work and opportunities can be made available for them to work at and then review thereafter? Instead we're concern about the daily operations and lay on the apprentices the work as an after thought or it just needs to be done? I wonder....good to think through and especially for me to check myself and my motives!

Matthew 25: 14 "For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' 21His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' 22And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.' 23His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' 24He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' 26But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

thursdays and fridays...

2007-09-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

Met another group of Cornhillers...all in their 2nd year at Proclamation Trust.

Thursday

morning:
A student did an exposition on John 13:1-5. Aim of expositions is to open up the meaning of the passage, but not to preach it to the class. It's a public exposition of a bible text, not a short sermon, camp or youth group talk. You're given 7 mins, disciplined in focussing on central theme of text in context, no time for illustrations and 7mins doesn't include prayer before and after, and it doesn't include reading of the passage.

BTW, they start on time! which i'm trying to get used to. I think it's great since I always think people should be on time for any meeting/appointments. But strangely, it feels pressurising when the whole group keeps time, though I see the difference between the 1st years and 2nd years. 1st years are more punctual, while 2nd years seem to be a more relaxed group since they had been through 1 year of Cornhill already.

After exposition, we usually break off to pray for an ex-Cornhill student and amongst our 2 or 3s. Quite amazing and such a blessing to be amongst people who simply and have only our Lord to rely on for their lives!

afternoon:
Once again, a PT staff came to explain the new library system which has been computerised. Think MW will be surprised at how many changes has taken place, like computerised library system, bigger pantry, more seminar rooms, new carpet, power points on the floor just below desks, 2 round glass tables to have our pack lunch, etc. At least all the 2nd years were raving about the changes. More changes coming, ie, wireless LAN to send out notes wirelessly to students' laptops, etc.

I went to help out with barcoding library books on last Tue and got to know more people when I helped out on Thu.

SA started to explain how we could make better use of the preaching classes, in particular how to give feedback amongst ourselves. There was a skit by 2 students to simulate the scenarios which we needed to look out for, ie, give feedback on the bible text itself and not about the person, being sensitive to the preacher student, giving constructive feedback with specific improvement which could be taken into consideration, if nothing to say then don't say.

Friday

morning:

After student exposition, DJ came to talk about principles of exposition of the epistles. I've heard most of it when he came to S'pore last year to teach us tools of digging deeper into the bible. Found it interesting this time that he says we do have interpretation problems to be aware of and also what kind of lenses we use to read the bible, our background/culture/personal life/tradition/people who nurtured us/prior understanding of bible, can all affect our interpretation.

Ultimately...
every translation = is an interpretation
scripture = human (individual styles, historic particularity) & divine (God's truth) = Lord Jesus (incarnation of scripture)
christians = founded in historic evidence

Another note I took down:
If God is God, he reveals himself to us (through His Word = bible).
If not, then he'll be smaller than your mind and what god is that?

events + explanation = revelation

DJ talked about exegesis (drawing out the meaning of text) and hermeneutics (significance of text)

Basically, it's the keep reading and reading and reading the text. Before teaching it, to read it 3 months beforehand to have had the time to ponder about it.

Interesting how DJ mentioned to be aware of boredom, where everything is about Jesus. It is, but not having it in a straight jacket, but to let it loose and preach the text. It was REALLY exciting when DJ gave an example of how it was done with 1 Peter and 1 Corinthians 1:1-3.

Also gave an estimation of preparation time for 25-30min talk, about 10 hours will be enough, lest if you prepare more, you'll want to give too much out.

DJ said you'll want to have a sermon that grabs people, otherwise won't nurture the congregation. One with application and relevance, because they'll have questions like "So what? How does it impact?". We're to make connections for people.

It was just exciting to hear him as he made the bible come alive! Reminds me of a korean-american sunday school teacher who made an impact in my life by bringing the bible to life during teenage years. What he taught, how he lived and parented his children was a big eye-opener for me.

afternoon:
It was also exciting as all the 2nd year Cornhill women gathered for free lunch provided by PT and met with 3 women teachers who had various minitries (youth & children, 20-30s women and older women).

CS shared from Ephesians 4:11-16 on what ministry is about. Out of 3 teachers, only 1 teacher has gone through Cornhill Training course.

Thereafter, the history of how the Women's Ministry stream came about was mentioned. It's so exciting, because they are going to discuss and help women think through blibically our role as women in the ministry. It's a 10 week course covering Biblical manhood & womanhood, ministry issues which women might face, pastoral issues, teaching workshops. Imagine we get a chance to think about the possible scenarios we'll be in and get to think it through blibically before it happens to us! It's just an answer to my prayer! All the women will want to complement the men in their ministry and be good helpers, yet recognising our role as women which God has given.

I'm surely looking forward to my Friday afternoons!!

school started!!

2007-09-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Monday

First time taking tube in the morning peak hour human traffic and it was scary and stress. I was squashed for the majority of time and reminded myself that I'd much prefer taking bus, as I could breathe better and enjoy the scenery. If not for learning God's word, I wouldn't want to come all the way here. I could love parts of the country or seek to satisfy my own desires by being here, but it'll all end up as nothing.

morning (9.10am - 12.15pm):
Director CA, started by opening up bible from Nehemiah 8:1-12. Jokingly, CA said even in the time of Nehemiah, there was a Cornhill course pattern...

Some points I took down:
- a gathered people learning under God's word
- attentive to God's word (verse 3)
- people had a relationship with God
- it was taught clearly (verse 8)
- there was conviction (verse 9)

Looked at Ezra 7:1-11 (especially verse 10) where we were challenged to look at how Ezra
"set his heart"
- his study of God's word shaped his lifestyle
- he does it / personal obedience
- teaches it
(have to figure this out, as my heart is prone to waver and mind gets distracted with other tasks)

He ended with Isaiah 50:4
"The Lord GOD has given me
the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word
him who is weary.
Morning by morning he awakens;
he awakens my ear
to hear as those who are taught."

There were lots of introductions
- the course and homework
- announcements
- the Proclamation Trust (PT) staff
- building facilities
- cleaning duty roster, etc

afternoon (1.30pm):
Came back to hear an exposition by SA, PT staff, on Philippians. Strict 7 mins to open up the meaning of the bible (ie, what it says and means in context, what's the big idea and why, also some pointer to the implication of the passage for us today), but not preach it to the group of 50 students (12 are full-timers).

(Something to think about: teaching and preaching a passage is different? But you need to learn to teach it before you preach it - conversations I'd had with friends and even my landlord, CH)

After that, I signed up for Greek, and was apprehensive about it, as we were given a Greek starter sheet to do homework by learning the Greek alphabets. How to read it? The symbols look like my maths university subjects, but I'll still give it a try.

Some had tutorials from 2pm, which just means meeting with a PT staff, to have a mentor to be able to discuss stuff with. I think these 1-2-1 meetings help alot in not getting lost in the midst of studying God's word. A personal touch and consideration by the school.

End of day, we were given homework to read through 2 Timothy.

My tutorial was on Tue, so I spent afternoon getting to know other people and got some banking stuff figured out.

Getting to know people, it helped when CA explained how different all our backgrounds were. London is really MORE cosmopolitan than other cities I've been.

Tuesday

Tube ride to school was wonderful! I wasn't squashed and could find a seat to sit. But, I still have to find out how to get to school by bus, just in case there's another tube strike!

morning (9.10am - 12pm):
Urgent prayer request for an ex-student who had cancer of liver. Broke off in small groups to pray for her. Quite amazing stuff when a paper detailing her condition/situation and what she asked us to pray for, helped us to know how to pray for her. And the paper contained a helpful reminder about "how good to know that the prayers of even us made righteous in Christ are 'powerful and effective'...what a great God."

Another morning exposition on Philippians by SA. Thereafter, we broke off into groups to discuss what we've read from 2 Timothy and share what we had picked up about what was going on with the writer, the recipient, the recipient's church. Also what clues there were about the circumstances that prompted the letter.

CA looked at 2 Timothy, showing us how to listen to the text and also how it gets from the text to teaching it and proclaiming the message.

lunch:
Interestingly, the one of the girls in 1st year decided to group all the girls together to go to a nearby park to have lunch (see photo). Amazing! Thank Him for his providence of such girls. Certainly helps to break the ice, since we're so new to each other. There were girls from Britain, Pakistan, US (Chicago), Northern Ireland and me, S'pore.

afternoon (1.30pm):
Had 2pm 15min meeting with CA's wife for her to find out how I am and whether I've settled down and what I hoped to get out of the course.

3.30pm, went with 5 other girls who met CA's wife, to go to CA's home nearby for tea. There was sharing of lives and how we were saved by Christ, and I got so caught up that I forgot I'd 5.30pm doctor's appointment. Sigh. I ran to tube and was 5 mins late, which thankfully they didn't strike me off their list, as notices around some clinics said it will do.

Took a leisurely walk back and pondered about the day.

what to look for in a church...

2007-09-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

"42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
(Acts chapter 2 verses 42 to 47)

Went to All Soul's newcomers evening since I'm so new and my main aim was to get to know the staff at All Soul's.

Evening started with writing name tags, getting a drink (orange, apple or tea/coffee) poured by the rector/pastor, Hugh Palmer (wow! amazing humble service! *grin*) and finding a table of 8 chairs to sit at. Table had muffins, sponge cakes, cookies, brownies *drool*. Had to have the details because it's so simple to organise.

Hugh gave a small talk "What to look for in a church" with slide show & points of the talk on it. He didn't start with an introduction of All Soul's, but went to scripture, Acts 2:42, 47. He said we could be looking around for a church to attend and checking out which one is suitable, but he challenged us on what we should look out for in any church, even if All Soul's turn out to be not suitable. Wow! Got me excited. Hehe

Here's the outline which came from the text and base on my memory:
- apostles' teaching, ie, bible teaching
- fellowship, ie, a loving community
- breaking of bread and to prayer, ie, to proclaim Christ's death/resurrection and his return, to have dependence on God
- added to their number daily, ie, evangelism, outreach/sharing of the gospel

He did explain that no church is perfect but that it strives to have those as its aims and they are making an effort.

For those who only want to attend services, they can't expect more from church since it's difficult with being a huge congregation to keep track of who is around, who has been sick or away. But they are welcomed in church. And coming to services only, you're bound to sit with different people each week. No real deepening of relationship in my opinion. Thought it was good reminder of having a realistic expectation, but challenged to join a bible study group, since that's a smaller version of church.

For those who are "sleepers", ie, have been serving for a long time and need a break, they are welcomed too. But it's best not to "sleep" too long lest it becomes permanent and you're out of fellowship completely.

I'm just glad I could still remember passages from talks after walking away. Must pray for pastors to instill God's word in people's hearts and leave it to do its work in each and every person because we know God's living and active word won't return empty and will fulfill God's purposes.

Thereafter, we had a tour of the church and the names of the different places in it which helps alot when I read their bulletin about events happening and meeting places. But a Northern Ireland lady I met, Joanne and I both felt like it was a museum tour. Haha! Know that the pulpit was a gift to infamous John Stott for his 60th birthday, if I'm not wrong and it weighs 2 tons, having an inscription something along the lines of preaching Jesus, a reminder to all the speakers who go up on the pulpit.

Next, a slide show on the different groups and activities in All Soul's. Finally a decision on which group to join or areas to help around.

"A small church needs help, whereas a big church doesn't need help"
2 statements where the first part is true. For a big church, it takes more hands to prepare and bring out the coffee/tea for example. How could anyone forget to take that into consideration?

Night ended with me surprisingly finding a link with an American girl, whose Taiwanese housemate I met last Sunday at my landlord's church. My landlord is a pastor at St John's Wood Baptist. Took bus home with her and her Kazakhstan housemate.

Leading yourself...

2007-09-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

if you were given a title of a talk like "characteristics of a christian leader" to prepare on, what would you choose to say? Which passage to choose? Always find topical talks tough, as you need to fully understand the text within its context for all the passages you choose to include. Alot of work as compared to expounding 1 passage.

First things which came to my mind when I looked at the title of the talk was the fruit of the spirit, following Christ's example, etc. Little did I expect to be told the seriousness of sin (disobedience/rebellion against God) in us. Such an awareness of how sin has tainted our very being! Yes! Even leaders are not excluded as though they were made holy/pure/without sin because they chose to lead bible study groups or other types of groups.

Was totally humbled by Rico Tice's talk on Joshua 7. Through the passage, genuine fear of the Lord was understood. You'll come to understand that God's judgement will be carried out and sin needs to be dealt with. They were asked to stop praying and deal with the problem (Joshua 7:10-13). Quite funny when Rico said they were asked to stop praying, I took a second look at the passage again.

Interesting also from Joshua 7:14 onwards as God's judgement is carried out, question "Why God didn't just point out the guy/culprit?" and Rico explained that it's to give Achan (the guy/culprit) time to confess. Can imagine Achan standing there with his family and starts to wonder if he'll be found out for what he did.

It's a scary thought that God will depart from me because of my sin. I never want him to leave me. Always asked him not to leave me. In Joshua 7:12b God said "I will not be with you anymore...". Sin had to be dealt with - Numbers 32:23 "...be sure that your sin will find you out."

Why was Achan's sin so serious? It's due to the corporate nature of sin. Joshua 7:1 "Israel broke faith"/committed adultery, Joshua 7:11 "Israel has sinned", Joshua 7:24 it was whole of Achan's sin being judged.

Really puts the fear of the Lord in us! God withdrawing until judgement happens. Church discipline is important. Accountability is important. Judgement will come, see Revelation 6. My sin affects others and vice versa (Genesis 3), how could we forget! A statement to ponder about "christian maturity is lived in the presence of God all the time".

What's my besetting sin? Sin has contagious power. Who can ask about my sin? How much fear do you have about sin?

Don't kill sin, sin comes and kills them (1 Samuel 15). Matthew 18:9 "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell". Have to be ruthless to deal with sin!

Achan's sin - covetousness Joshua 7:20-21. Oh, how we need to examine our fear of sin! Doing gospel work is a soldier's life, not heaven.

"I don't trust anyone here and I don't trust myself!" said Rico in continuation about our sin. This blew me away! Which leader would say that? Except one who solely relies on God, meditating on his word to renew his mind.

AND Rico mentions about our struggle with $/greed which we need to watch out for. Something he understood from Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."? Hmm....

True christian fellowship = accountability/being challenged, not being nice & feel nice amongst the group. Wow! Something which I've been thinking about and it was put into such succinct words!

Let's all confess our sins. 1 John 1:9 "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.". We're a community of grace (ie, receiving salvation when we don't deserve it).

This was provided in the talk outline...

Ephesus - "Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." Revelation 2:5

Pergamum - "Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality. Likewise you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. " Revelation 2:14-16

Thyatira - "Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways." Revelation 2:20-22

If the above is unclear, do let me know. I'm more tuned to "numbers" than words. =P Just documented some of the notes I took down to remind myself of what I've learnt. Best if you could read through Joshua 7 by yourself.

As i left for london...

2007-09-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

friends prayed and relatives sent me off. Thanking God for all of them and what was awaiting me in London.

The weather is...

2007-08-20T01:04:00.000-07:00

Autumn Term:
Monday 17th September 2007 - Friday 14th December 2007
Half term week:
22nd - 26th October 2007
Reading week:
19th - 23rd November 2007

Spring Term:
Monday 7th January 2008 - Friday 28th March 2008
Mission Week:
11th - 15th February 2008
Half-term week:
18th - 22nd February 2008

Summer Term:
Monday 21st April - Friday 27th June 2008
Half term week:
26th - 30th May 2008

What's the weather if you come to London to visit me...

What I learnt at the wake

2007-05-22T03:05:00.000-07:00

of P's dad…was quite tickled (unusual at funerals) whilst listening to a mandarin sermon/message. Some points I remembered which I'd to note down, since it was quite sound teaching which was localized...

A christian funeral is not a gathering of people to send the spirit of the dead away, it's for us, the LIVING, to think about our lives which is only here for awhile and passes away (1 Peter 1:24-25)

Worried about who is going to feed my spirit once I die, lest I turn out to be a hungry ghost? But how about our ancestors who have been forgotten? There would be a lot of extremely hungry ghosts currently

Didn't expound on sin (us ignoring God/rebelling against God), so not sure if people understood the message fully

Our God is great! Only Jesus had overcame death and resurrected (came alive)! He's indeed God himself. (Acts 2:31-32) No one else claims to have resurrected from the dead.

People ask who knows what will happen when we die…the Bible clearly says "man is destined to die once and thereafter to face judgement" (Hebrew 9:27-28). Quite unlike what's said nowadays, where no one knows what's going to happen after you die.

Jesus is the way and the truth and the life. No one goes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6). Quite an impact if you don't believe in Jesus...speaker then invited those who didn't believe yet to consider this point now, urgently.

Suck tummy in and upwards, squeeze butt and...

2007-04-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

pull down shoulders! Remember to breathe normally. Make sure your feet are in V-formation. Try it. It tones your tummy muscles which is not used as much.

My dear friend J taught me after she went to Sydney to be trained as Pilates instructor. Still remember the time when she was telling me about how she needs to find the authentic Pilates instructor to be taught properly, like in search of truth. =)

Once she set up her own shop, I signed up for it, partly needing some form of exercise. You'll be amazed how it's low impact and you could still perspire and the next day, you can feel all your muscles aching. It was interesting to see her hubby, who has a big frame, doing Pilates. After the course of it, he says he feels stronger and I couldn't agree more, because I started to make use/concentrate in using other muscles. Think I had less neck and shoulder aches, all due to working on computer 8hrs/work day.

Check out her website - Classic Pilates

There's a trial session you could take just to see if you'll want to sign on for the whole package.

Let's train those tummy muscles of ours!!

any resemblence?

2007-04-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

when you are cursed > you bless
when you are persecuted > you endure it
when you are slandered > you answer kindly

(from first corinthians chapter four verses twelve and thirteen)

How difficult it is! The instant/natural reaction is to give it back in same/equal doses.

Such resemblence of how Paul, the writer's reaction, being similar to his master, Jesus. Could it be that they saw beyond the persons' who cursed, persecuted, slandered? Beyond the situation/issues? What calmness and clarity they had! And such security in God.

My fav christian mandarin song which has lots of meaning...

2007-01-09T02:08:00.000-08:00

Translation: There is one God

music

Online recipes in blogs...

2006-11-16T19:34:00.000-08:00

are so GOOD! One which I just chanced on and liked immediately, because of it's simplicity...eatzybitzy....and her pictures are well taken

Christmas is..

2006-11-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

COMINGGGG!!......how do I know? I saw the christmas decorations at Orchard Road last week whilst going to Tanglin Mall to meet M. Haha!

It's a declaration that christmas shopping NOW begins! Buying gifts for family, friends, colleagues, etc. Will anyone and everyone appreciate a hand-made card and not one which is commercially printed?

For sure, there's more to Christmas. A time when everyone hears through songs in the media, in shopping centres that Jesus Christ was born into this world, God becoming flesh and Jesus is the Saviour of the world in the end. Does it just go through one ear and out the next for those who haven't or don't want to consider the good news of what God has done for them, his enemies, of which I was one of them too?

There's definitely more to Christmas then what the world thinks it knows
http://www.moretochristmas.com

Thought I'd attach pic above which looks quite christmassy. Took it in Finland during summer (Sep 06) using close-up mode on Nokia N73. An attempt to exercise some photography/artistic flair =)

Motivations...

2006-11-03T23:47:00.000-08:00

...needed for everything we do?

God is light >> motivation to not sin against our Creator God?
1 John 1:5 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20john;&version=31;

God is love >> motivation to love others because he first loved us when we were his enemies?
1 John 4:16 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20john%204;&version=31;

gifts from God...

2006-09-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

which are both gifts of life and gifts of talent/skills...

Check out my school-mate's son. He's 5 years old and he plays the drums! Amazing enough! More amazing is that he's got rhythm, not out of synch! Seems like he imitates his parents and how they're involved in music ministry. Such is modelling to a child. They observe and follow. Disciples are made that way....just like Jesus' disciples following him and imitating him.

http://drummerboydavy.blogspot.com/

Video craze...

2006-08-14T00:09:00.000-07:00

Durian and 3 yr olds

Ilona tells of God the creator

Samuel and tractor

Presents received by Kerrs' kids from Uncle & Aunty Kweh

Candles blown when Jessica turned 1 yr old

My first video upload...

2006-07-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

an amazing achievement of being able to upload a video!!

Amateur recipes

2006-06-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

are always amateur...here goes the search of how to make $4+ coffee at a cheaper price...

Latte:
1. Warm a cup of milk in microwave
2. Add 2 teaspoons of coffee powder and stir

Mocha:
1. Stir half cup of coffee powder and water
2. Add milk til cup is full
3. Add milo powder and stir

Refreshing salad

2006-04-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

which became a success after one try. It's fool proof man! Need somewhere to record it down, hence thought this is a good place. Credit goes to Marc and Lay San for feeding it to me =P

Dressing: olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, red onions thinly sliced, pine nuts or walnuts
Ingredients: spinach, oranges sliced round

chinese new year...

2006-01-27T01:41:00.000-08:00

a political time? "How can that be?" some would ask (my non-C colleague did). Well, if you're like me who say wrong things at wrong time, struggling to understand why people are all so caught up with prosperity which they think they can control by words they say and things they do. Sigh. Then there are protocols to follow, ie, younger must visit the older, must have reunion dinner at hubby's side of the family, must bring two oranges & not 1 orange or anything else, the marrieds must give ang pao to the singles regardless of how old they are, etc. During this time, the complexity of people is just enlarged (there's another word to describe, but can't find in my limited vocab). And the complexity is tainted with sin (rebellion against God). Ah-ha! You asked "what has sin got to do with it?". Just have a ponder about all the scenarios/situations amongst family/friends. If people could be simple and treasure the relationships, disregarding whether people behave a certain way, wouldn't that be wonderful? Reminds me of the pharisees in the bible who keep seeing others being unclean outwardly, yet forget that their hearts are not clean either.

I'm just going to have a quiet night with my parents, though possibly an argument or two might erupt, and doing the laundry or housework might happen, but just to be with them and appreciating what God has given to me, which I can't ask for more. I do love my parents, hopefully just the way God has loved us, demonstrating via Jesus' death. It's amazing how obedient Jesus is to God - how we were meant to live. oops! Am I diverting? hehehe...i should endeavor to be focus =)

Ok, have to rush off now. See my cha-bo's blog (http://cantgetwatiwant.blogspot.com/2006/01/larry-cucumber_26.html)! I too love Larry the cucumber! Gave her a bookmark which had some words behind saying "God's way is the best!"

Funny pics

2005-11-15T05:31:00.000-08:00

to laugh at and enjoy (following spamster's Oct 15 blog http://www.cantgetwatiwant.blogspot.com/ but mine is cuter, of cos *BIG grin*)....my finnish colleague is here for 2 months to train my team-mate and I, and he shared his online website http://www.mjamjam.tk/. His son, Markus, is SO cute/adorable!! Just simply enjoyed babysitting him, walking him around Suntec fountain area during dinner time. Click on "Kuvagalleria", you'll see his baby pics, starting from "Ensikuvat", think that means one of the months in the year, don't know which one =P

He reminds me of Josiah...hmm, think I'm missing him calling me "Aunty...". I must get down to emailing his mom....missing her too.

For my dear friend, soon-to-be Mdm Tan, who's getting married in Mar 06, click "M&M häät 12.7.2003", check out my colleague's wife's gown, it's beautiful, but only angmoh culture can appreciate it.

Ok, I simply had to try blogging with pics. Now, I know how to do it =)

(Hmm, why can't I position Jos' pic at a particular position on this page? It keeps defaulting to top right corner..hai)

I have concluded...

2005-11-07T16:39:00.000-08:00

that the blog I want to keep will be similar to this http://www.sharingadventures.com!! Not trying to do any company marketing here (though I was told in the army defence technology interview when I first came out to work that I'm suited in the marketing industry..nah!), but just wanted share with family and friends what I see. If you ever saw my online album, you'll know what I mean...some friends can attest to it. Hee!

Okie doks, it's back to the drawing board now....*joy draws*...hahahha...